Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

One thing that my last post about Taqwa reminded me of was the concept of the "Fear of the Lord." I remembered a Proverb I learned that impacted my life as a woman and helped me to understand my role as a woman and wife and mother. I never took the time to reflect a lot upon it, so I thought I would take the chance to do it now, and see how it relates to what I understand about my role as a woman in Islam. I love to study religion. My guidance in my life is the holy Qur'an, but i like to study religion in general from a Muslim perspective and parallel the other books to the complete and holy Qur'an. Muslims are taught that God sent down other books. Besides the Qur'an, the others are the book of Ibrahim (now lost) the Law of Moses (the Taurah), the Psalms of David (the Zabûr) and the Gospel of Jesus (the Injil). The Qur'an describes Christians and Jews as "the people of the Book" (ahl al Kitâb). So we are all connected as people of the book.

This proverb (Proverb 31) by King Solomon, son of King David, given to him by his mother as he was preparing to become king, was traditionally recited in the Jewish home every week on the eve of the Sabbath for thousands of years and it was one of the most influential verses in my life from the bible....

The Woman Who Fears the Lord

<sup>Here it is with commentary and reflection:

"10</sup>A strong and virtuous woman, who can find?
For her worth is far above pink pearls."
(The Hebrew word chayil, translated here "noble," or "virtuous" from a noun meaning moral and physical and spiritual strength, efficiency, ability. Also God-Fearing is implied in this same term in other parts of the bible - Taqwa. Pink pearls were highly valued in ancient times and found in the Red Sea.)

¹¹The heart of her husband trusts in her, that he shall have no need of spoils."
"She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
(So she is reliable and consistent and dependable. Being able to fully trust your marriage partner is one of the fundamental foundations of a strong God-honoring marriage. Not only this, but also the word spoils comes from after a battle as the victorious soldiers would take anything valuable from their defeated foes and thus would GAIN riches and profits from battle. So this is to mean that because his wife manages the home so well and she is so industrious and productive that her efforts result in great GAIN and even PROFIT.)

"She selects wool and flax and works willingly with eager hands."
(The virtuous woman enjoys working so much that she plans ahead for what she needs in order to accomplish her responsibilities. The word "willingly" is the word meaning "delight, pleasure." She takes great pleasure in her work. She does not see it as a boring task. )

"She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from far places."
(She not only does what is expected of her, but she also seeks to exceed the expectations, she makes an EXTRA effort to serve and please and impress. She may have brought in foods from distant lands by trading for them the wondrous garments or clothes that she made with her hands. The virtuous woman said, "Dear, I'm going to town but I don't need any money because I'm taking some of the fine linen which I have made and will trade it in for some items of food which you will really enjoy." How can he complain about that? It also seems that she recognized that it would be good for her family to give them great variety in their diet, including international dishes, and not to constantly give them the same foods all the time. )

"She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls." "In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers."
( She is up before the sun, showing that laziness has no place with her and that she does not miss fajr prayer. This means that she is a good leader. She realizes to be a good leader she must have discipline, to be a good example, but she must also care for those under her authority and consider them. That is being a good leader. For example, if you have a boss who is always telling you what to do, but never considers your well-being, what kind of leader is that?? A leader must lead, but also consider his followers, as the woman here does by preparing the portions of food for her servants. Also, this shows an important point about nutrition and health. Nutritionists consider breakfast the most important meal of the day, nourishing the body that has not had any food for many hours, and providing energy for the long day. The virtuous woman makes sure that her family gets off to a healthy start. Also, if she is able to give daily meals to her family and have servants that she also feeds, this mean her family has prosperity or is not poor, and Allah rewards the pious ones not only with spiritual blessings, but material ones also).

"She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard."
(She thinks and reflects before she makes important decisions for her and her family. And she not only thinks about the present, she sets goals and makes long term plans. For example, here she invests her money to plant a vineyard so she can grow plants that will help them in the future. )

"She sets about her work vigorously; she girdeth her loins with strength, her arms are strong for her tasks." "Her lamp does not go out at night"
(To me this means that she takes care of herself, she is in shape and does exercise to maintain herself so she can have energy and strength to take care of her responsibilities because her family depends on her. Loins refer to the abdominal or hip region of the body, and any trainer will tell you that the abs and trunk are the core of the body for fitness. It supports the rest of the body. If this is not strong, then the back will be weak and one will also lack balance and endurance. "To gird" means to encircle or bind with a flexible band or girdle (belt). In Bible times both men and women wore outer robes or tunics. If the tunic was not girded it would interfere with a person's ability to walk freely. In Bible language, "to be girded" means "to be ready for action." "For thou hast girded me with strength unto the battle" (Psalm 18:39). As for the light of the lamp, that means that she might stay up to spend time with Allah in late night prayer often or reading and reflecting over the Qur'an, and that she works hard and does not sleep more than she needs. Also that she may be awake with her husband giving him attention and sharing with him.)

"In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers."
(This means that she has skills and does things with good technique. She develops her talents and hones her skills, including those to be a good mother and wife, through education and diligent application. This can also mean that she keeps her hands busy doing productive things, and this helps her to avoid sin by keeping herself occupied and focused on doing things that produce positive results.)

"She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy."
(Although it’s good to donate to needy causes, this means far more than writing a check. This woman shows personal concern. She visits the sick, comforts the lonely and depressed, and delivers food to those in need. But does not only mean the people who are materially poor. It also means those who are poor in spirit, who recognize their need for Allah in their lives, people who want to grow in religion. So this verse also means that she reaches out and helps people who are hungry for Allah to learn about the religion.)

"When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet."
(To me this means that she is smart, she plans ahead and is prepared and prepares her family for all circumstances so that they can be prepared for anything that comes their way. One lesson here is that the children of godly parents do not need to be dressed in drab and dull clothing. Drabness and dullness of apparel does not add to one's spirituality. There seems to be an allowance for clothing that is colorful and attractive. At the same time dress should be modest and not unnecessarily draw attention to SELF or to one's body.)

"She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple."
(For me this means that she has high standards, and she knows how to dress herself appropriately and tastefully for all occassions. Purple was prized by the ancients and exported far and wide. " Great labor was required to extract the purple dye, and thus only royalty and the wealthy could afford the resulting richly colored garments" (Unger's Bible Dictionary, p. 904). A total of 250,000 mollusks was required to make one ounce of the dye, which helps us to understand how valuable this dye was (Nelson's New Illustrated Bible Dictionary, p. 288). Purple cloth was used in the furnishings of the tabernacle (Exodus 25:4), in Solomon's temple (2 Chron. 2:14; 3:14) and in the high priest's dress (Exodus 25:4; 26:21). It was a royal garment worn by kings (Judges 8:26). She was industrious and enterprising, and she was able to purchase the finest materials, and with her own hands make the finest of garments. She did not consider it a mark of spirituality to go around looking impoverished, and bare. Rather, as was often true under the former dispensation, material prosperity was a sign of God's blessing, and was not to be despised. She wore presentable, elegant, quality and well-put-together clothing, royal clothing, to match her regal and godly character. Her outward garments of beauty and splendor matched her inner beauty and character. " She was not vain or arrogant and she well understood that external beauty fades (as we will see in verse 30). She was not arrogant in the way she dressed either. She understood that the most important clothing was the adorning of the inner self: "strength and honor are her clothing." And we find this parallel in the Qur'an of course:

"O children of Adam, we have provided you with garments to cover your bodies, as well as for luxury. But the best garment is the garment of righteousness. These are some of GOD's signs, that they may take heed." [Surah 7:26]

Dressing well, both inwardly and outwardly, is a virtue, not a sin. It is important to remember that the wearing of costly garments did not come at the expense of her family or the poor, nor did it interfere with any of her God-given duties:

If the virtuous woman has coverings of tapestry for her house, she makes them herself; if she is clothed with fine linen and purple, she earns it by her hard work and good financial management skills. Is it wrong for a believing woman today to go out and buy an expensive dress? Should she instead only shop at thrift stores where she can spend a minimal amount on necessary attire? In the Old Testament, great wealth and godliness were not incompatible. Abraham had tremendous wealth, as did David and Solomon, and they were not condemned for possessing riches. They were condemned for SETTING THEIR HEARTS on their riches (Psalm 62:10). So, the one begins to sin when more is thought of this external adorning, than of the ornament of the heart.

Any external decoration which occupies the mind more than the virtues of the heart, and which engrosses the time and attention more, we may be certain is wrong. The apparel should be such as not to attract attention, such as shall leave the impression that the heart is not fixed on it. (Barnes' Notes on 1 Timothy 2:9).)

"Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land."
(The man is able to handle his job and responsibilities with peace knowing and trusting that his wife is taking care of the duties at home. This man does not have to spend his time trying to straighten out problems at home. It also means his success in the social world comes partly from her support, just as her success comes partly from his support. And both are obedient to Allah.)

"She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes."
( This capable, industrious woman was very enterprising and she operated an amazing home business. Linen was a very high quality garment in that day. Her efforts and industry add to the family income. To me this is nice that she can work and contribute to the family but just on the side, like extra.)

"Strength, righteousness, and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice (laugh) in time to come".
(Not only does this woman benefit each day from her pious way, long-term rewards will come to her someday also. The word "laugh" is the same word found in Proverbs 31:25. The LORD will laugh because He knows that all the armies of the world are not able to hurt Him or defeat Him. Likewise, the godly woman can laugh at the future because she knows that the future cannot hurt her. She has prepared herself and her family for the future, to the best of her ability (as we studied in Proverbs 31:21), and because of her trust in God, she knows that she can face the future with great confidence and optimism. )

26She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. wise	Her Influence as a Teacher
27She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. (manages her home) 28Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: (praiseworthy) 29"Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all." (distinguished)	Her Effectiveness as a Mother
30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. (God-fearing - Taqwa) 31Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates. (All what she does and the efforts she makes brings good fruits that will come back to her in honor)	Her Excellence as a Person
~ Proverbs 31:10-31

All of these words for a good wife come from this poem from Solomon;

1. Virtue. Proverbs 31:10
2. Faithfulness. Proverbs 31:11,
3. Reverence. Proverbs 31:12
4. Goodness. Proverbs 31:12
5. Willing Worker. Proverbs 31:13
6. Good Manager. Proverbs 31:14,15
7. Industrious. Proverbs 31:16
8. Strength. Proverbs 31:17
9. Endurance. Proverbs 31:18
10. Well Rounded. Proverbs 31:19
11. Charitable. Proverbs 31:20
12. Provider. Proverbs 31:21
13. Well Dressed. Proverbs 31:22
14. Wife of a Good Husband. Proverbs 31:23
15. Good Business woman. Proverbs 31:24
16. Honorable. Proverbs 31:25
17. Wise. Proverbs 31:26a
18. Kind. Proverbs 31:26b
19. Good Mother. Proverbs 31:27a
20. Busy. Proverbs 31:27b
21. Praiseworthy. Proverbs 31:28
22. Attains or Excels. Proverbs 31:29
23. Fear of the Lord. Proverbs 31:30
24. Fruit bearing. Proverbs 31:31
List from: http://www.creativeladiesministry.com/pearlsdev.html

Taqwa

As I strive to refine my character and seek Allah's help in molding me into a model Muslim, I realize more and more how powerful of a guide the Qur'an is in this aspect.

As a Christian, I used to turn to the bible for this guide and I have to say that it was one of the largest influences that contributed to who I am and where I am today. Now that I just seek my guidance from the holy Qur'an, I have found it to be so complete and it has quickly helped me get to the root of issues I have had for many years that would serve as barriers between me and living in submission to Allah.

There is a word for this tool I am learning about and hoping to obtain. it is called Taqwa. Taqwa is defined as an Arabic word which is explained as a shield against wrongdoing and further expounded as to be “conscious of Allah” or to have “fear of Allah” or to be “cautiously aware of Allah”.

What is very interesting to me is that as a Christian, I had read in the bible in the very first Proverb ((1:7) of the prophet Solomon (pbuh); "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."

So to me, this means that knowledge is not enough in itself. Even if we really know the words of the Qur'an and understand there meaning, until we truly have an awareness of the presence of Allah in our lives and an understanding of his authority and majesty over us, and of our relationship with Him, we are missing the mark. We must have that "constant self-awareness" of Allah in our hearts and minds at all times. As we seek knowledge we keep this present as well.

I had realized that I had been pursuing knowledge in some areas, but was not yet self-aware of Allah in some areas of my life and that was causing me to make mistakes and fail.
Character is not just knowing between right and wrong. It is also having integrity and we get that integrity through the awareness that Allah sees and knows ALL. He knows our hearts and he is ever-presently with us. We act in goodness out of that consciousness. Would you want to do something bad if you knew Allah was right there with you? Would you want to be inconsiderate with your friend? Would you want to be impatient with your husband? Would you want to be rude to a guest? Most likely not! Well, guess what? HE IS with us.

The origin of the word Taqwa is from the Arabic root letters wa’ ka’ ya (meaning shield) and its verb is from the word “Ittaki”. Ittaki means to be careful or to be protected or to be cautious.
Somebody told me that the would like to become a better Muslim but they don't have the motivation. Well, I think that Taqwa is so helpful in motivating us to continually refine ourselves and seek to give honor to Allah and seek His favor. We are not perfect, but we can strive for it, and truly possessing Taqwa is a very significant tool in that. Taqwa is not only a tool in refining ourselves, but it is also a wonderful feeling to realize one's closeness to Allah, to be aware that He's near.

As we become more and more aware of the power of the presence of Allah in our lives, we become more and more submissive to Him as we become more and more aware of His power. The ideal state of Taqwa is actually known as complete servitude to him, which in Arabic is AbdullAh. If you think about it, what is the best character? The character of one with the attitude of servitude. The idea of being like a servant might be hard for some of us to swallow, but think about how strong one's character must be to follow commandments without arguing about them, just submitting in complete obedience, not being overbearing when talking with others, being humble, not being concerned about having worldly material possessions, handling the business of your Lord before your own, living just to seek out the wishes of your Lord. It is a tough place to be in when in our daily lives we might feel like the Lords of our home, of our careers, of our communities, of our social circles, etc....

Even as a Christian I had learned about the importance of this kind of attitude through the example I was given through Issa's (pbuh) life. He was so humble, and always put others before himself, and was not too proud to serve others. This type of attitude shows great character and takes a lot of wisdom and a strong Taqwa to obtain. This Taqwa, this awareness of Allah, is also a gift to us from Allah, because it serves as a protection from sins which we might otherwise commit if we did not possess this. It also serves us to grow in love of Allah.

If you think about it, how do grow in love of others? One might think it comes from what the other person does for us. Yet this just makes us appreciate those people more or admire them for their selflessness or consideration or courtesy. But actually, it is when WE do things for others, that makes US love THEM more. Think about it. Normally, if we want someone to love us, we shower them with favors and deeds and gifts. But what actually makes them love us, is when they are allowed to do things for US. With each deed they do for us, their love grows for us, just as with each deed we do for them, we grow to love them more and more. It is hard to explain, but I will explain it to you better inshallah. Just know that the care we take in our actions to please Allah as we become more and more aware of our communion with him, ultimately develops our love for Him. Just trust me on this.

As we grow in Taqwa, even the smallest sins we become more aware of and try harder to avoid and thus, our character becomes more and more refined. Our relationships improve, our quality of life gets better, and our stress goes down. This Taqwa, I relate to the character values of CONSIDERATION and COURTESY. This is because when we are more aware of our surroundings we take more care with how we speak and what we say to others and consider others more than we would have before. We would also make more effort to be courteous and well-mannered knowing that this is a way to show respect for each other. After all, we are each a part of the other, we are all a creation of Allah and we must consider each other.
Surah 49-13 (Al Hujurat - the Inner Apartments):

“O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you (Muttaqi). And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).”

It is essentially a discipline. It takes discipline to behave in this way. One way to obtain discipline and Taqwa in our lives is through fasting. Sub7anAllah.

“O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, so that you may attain Taqwa.” - Surah 2:83 (Al Baqarah)


The four verses in Surah 2:2-5 give an overview of Taqwa:

2. This is the Book; in it is guidance sure, without doubt, to those who fear (or are conscious) of Allah (Taqwa).

3. Who believe in the Unseen, are steadfast in prayer, and spend out of what We have provided for them;

4. And who believe in the Revelation sent to you, and sent before your time, and (in their hearts) have the assurance of the Hereafter.

5. They are on (true) guidance, from their Lord, and it is these who will prosper.

And for my conclusion, a reminder from the Holy Qur'an for all of us:

“Hold not yourself purified. Allah knows best who has Taqwa.”

- Surah 53:32 (An Najm - The Clans)

Going Against the Grain

As I study Islam and reflect on the words of the Holy Qur'an, which I believe to be the word of Allah sent through the angel Gabriel to Mohammad (pbut), I find more and more things among the Muslim population that is not in line with this holy book. When I was Christian, I found this to be so too, of course much more since they do not go by the Qur'an which is infallible. But my point is that there were so many things and rules and rituals and traditions and mindsets incorporated into it that did not seem to be in line with the gospels at all, and I see this parallel among Muslims too unfortunately.

When I first came to Islam, I remember my Christian pastor telling me there is no perfect religion. And now I am beginning to see his point, although it is not Islam in this case that is imperfect, it is some of what has been added to it and named as Muslim jurisprudence and practice. I originally thought that the Muslim would be so different from Christianity and Judaism, that it would be more pure, closer to the way of Abraham and all the prophets pbut. I saw Islam as the straight path, a path closer to Allah's way. And I still believe that and know it to be true and nothing will ever change that. And I remember being very trusting about all of the customs and ways that Muslims were teaching me at first in regards to Salat, my interpersonal relations with others as a woman, what and how I eat, just everything. Soon however, I began to return to my old ways, of questioning each thing that was said to me and looking for support for it in the holy Qur'an.

However, because of many innovations by humans added to the Muslim way after the death of the prophet Mohammad pbuh, people began to adopt many different customs and ways in Islam that were not true to how Islam was before. Islam has not changed for any of the prophets pbut. We believe in the same God and we continue the same way, in complete submission to Allah.

When I was CHristian, and we would mention Jesus' name in prayer, and some sects of Christianity even pray to Mary (pbut), I always felt bad in my spirit about that. I always wondered to myself why can't we just pray directly and intimately to Allah, like Jesus (pbuh), our example for living, did before us as well as the rest of the people in Jesus' time and before.

Now, as a Muslim, my spirit asks me the same question with regards to mentioning other names during my salat. Is this an innovation? Why can't I just mention Allah's name when I pray? Salat is such an intimate time between us and our God. So why do we mention so much the names of others during this time? This is sometimes the only time we feel we are truly alone with Allah. Not only this, but Allah Himself mentioned in the Qur'an that He already knows that Mohammad is His messenger insinuating why we feel we have to profess it so much (you will see these passages from Qur'an below). And we also know this as a statement of fact. So why do we insist on saying it so much and so often and especially during our Salat??

I am not saying it is wrong. I still have more prayer and reflecting to do about it. I am just asking these difficult questions because I refuse to not use my brain or judgment at all times, I refuse to just follow along without having understanding where these things are coming from. And I know for a fact it is good to ask the hard questions in life because if I would not have done it before, I would still be Christian today and would not have found Islam, although maybe Allah would have still found a way for me. Sub7anAllah. As you will see, Allah touches on this subject at least a couple times in the Qur'an:

"When the hypocrites come to you and say: "WE BEAR WITNESS THAT YOU ARE THE MESSENGER OF ALLAH. ALLAH indeed knows that you are His Messenger. GOD bears witness that the hypocrites are liars". (63:1)

"We have sent you as a Messenger and GOD SUFFICES AS A WITNESS..."
- Sura 4:79

So it is undeniable that Allah affirms and re-affirms that He already knows this and so do we, so why do we feel the need to bear witness to this with our mouths so much? We believe in Mohammad and all of the prophets pbut! If we didn't, would we still be muslim? I don't think so. So anyway, this is just one issue of the thousands that pop into my heart as each day passes and as I ponder my role as a Muslim and what it means to be Muslim. I hope if anything this just inspires you to pursue truth and knowledge.

What we traditionally do in Islam might be right, but I would have to implore you to study up on things because we cannot just continue to blindly do things just because it is what we were taught. We should know and understand why we do the things we do.

The Qur'an then brought Allah's word in completion to allow us to know His final word on the matter. I feel really strongly about Islam, more and more every day. Just when i cant feel more I do. I feel more and more convicted in my spirit when it comes to doing things in Islam in a way that is not in line with what I am reading from the Qur'an and it makes it hard for me to continue doing something that I know goes against what I know in the Qur'an. I am realizing that I may make a lot of people upset in my life over the way I will live Islam, but I always felt that I would not do something if it went against what is in the Qur'an which I believe to be the perfect word of Allah. I am prepared for what that will mean for my life, but what is my life if I don't defend my faith? I cannot just do things because I am scared that my society will repudiate me for it. I cannot go against what I know to be true and of God. However, I pick my battles. What I mean by that is, I will defend my faith and what is from God to the death if I must, but if the issue I am defending is something in my tradition or Muslim way that I uphold although is not based directly from Allah's words, I may negotiate that in order to maintain peace which is also something I should fight for and uphold. What use is it to fight over some issue that is not even directly tied to Allah, and make a big conflict over it only to wake up fighting between people? Then what kind of Islam is that?
However, when it comes to the qur'an and Allah, I go all the way for it. I have always felt that way about GOd

Even when I was a Christian, I could no longer continue to be Christian even though it would change my entire life because I just could not continue dishonor Jesus pbuh by misusing his purpose on earth in such a way, and it wasn't that I didn't have faith in GOd, i just knew that this was not right and you know the rest of my story about that
I just cannot stand for going against God's commands
but at the same time, may He forgive me if I am in any way
but I just want to do my best, that is all i can do.

"These are God's verses; we recite them for you truthfully. In which "Hadith", beside God and His verses, do they believe in? WOE TO EVERY SINFUL FABRICATOR. He hears God's verses, then insists arrogantly on his way, as if he never heard them; promise him painful retribution. When he learns anything from our verses, he takes it in vain; these have deserved humiliating retribution. Awaiting them is hell; neither their earnings, nor the idols they had set up beside God can help them; they have deserved terrible retribution. THIS IS THE GUIDANCE, and those who do not believe the verses of their Lord will suffer debasement, and painful retribution." (Surah 45:6-11)

ATTITUDE IN ISLAM

"Attitude is Everything." I know that is a cliche, but at the same time, it is probably one of the truest cliches in my vocabulary and reminds me how important attitude is at every moment of our lives. It is so paramount to live in obedience to Allah, but it is not just the service to others and the code we follow that we must keep in check, it is also the attitude we carry along with all of our actions. It only takes a second to affect a person in a bad or good way, and this may very well depend not on your actions or deeds, but simply upon the attitude you have at that second. If you carry a frown walking into a house where there are guests, they may feel un-welcomed. The frown may only last a few moments, but that will be long enough to leave a bad impression on some hearts. I say attitude and not feelings because unlike feelings that are natural and fluctuate throughout the day and depending on our circumstances, attitude is something we can more easily control.

Even when we may not be feeling happy or at ease at the moment, we can still show a smile on our face or share a few friendly words and kind gestures. Often times, it is simply our attitudes that can influence someone or inspire someone to seek Islam. We need to be aware of that. We can be doing all the rights things in our minds thinking that we are being good examples of Islam to others, but if we are not carrying a positive attitude around with that at all times, we may not be doing as good of a job with our examples as Muslims.

We must remember that we are all connected with each other, we are all part of one large body. We must treat each other as we would like to treat ourselves. What kind of Muslims would we be if we just worried about how one part of our body was but neglected about the body as the whole? We must remember the big picture. Yes we must only answer to Allah, but we must also seek to uplift those around us as we are all a part of each other. It is easy to smile and be friendly all the time we see our dear friends, but we must try to extend this positivity to all people that Allah puts in our path. When we are happy it seems so much easier to extend that, but think about it; a frown or a bad tone of voice or negative body language can so easily make those around you feel uncomfortable even if you are unaware of it. So why would we want to spread negativity?

It is so easy to just show good body language, a warm tone of voice and a smile when we are doing things even if they are things we do not necessarily enjoy doing. Think about everything you do in the day. Maybe you work or go shopping or cook for guests or go to the gym. Any of these places you will run into people and interact with them in one way or another. At the same time however, there are many things that can come up to cause us to feel something negative in our day in these activities. Maybe we get tired, maybe we are sleepy, maybe we are too busy, maybe we have a deadline. In the end, if we wait until we are "in the mood" to show a positive way or attitude towards others, this might not be very often.

No one can say it better than Allah has said it:

"who (the righteous) give to charity during the good times, as well as the bad times. They are suppressors of anger, and pardoners of the people. GOD loves the charitable." (3:134)

As Muslims, we have the added responsibility to show a positive attitude even in these times. We may be tired, but we have enough wisdom as Muslims to realize it does not take much to be kind even when we feel it would be easier to just express how we are really feeling on the inside. Why not use a little bit of energy to inject others with positivity? I know how much of an effect this can have on others because I just have to think about when I am around people who consistently have a good attitude and it is so easy to point out in my mind who they are because they stand out from the rest. And the funny thing is, a positive attitude is not a difficult thing to have at all. It just takes a very little effort to extend to others this courtesy and it is beneficial for your own spiritual and physical health too.

If you are not self-aware of the effect your attitude has on people and on your influence as a Muslim, beware. You may be doing a good job of putting food on the table, giving Zakat, working hard, going to the mosque, praying every day, fasting, being chaste, BUT the power of your attitude behind all you do will determine in the end the true effect of your actions. Having a good attitude shows your concern for those around you before yourself, it shows your reverence for Allah and the strength of your character to hold a smile even when it may not be your day.

Attitude directly affects your friendships, your family, your marriage, your ability to serve Allah, among other very significant issues. So when you are contemplating your life and wondering what you may be doing that is hurting your relationships or your reputation, take a look at how you hold yourself around others at all times. One thing that had helped me in my Christian life to maintain a positive attitude in my life no matter what may be going on at the moment is this verse from the bible:

"Forget not to show love unto strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels being unaware of it."
- Hebrews 13:2

The Qur’an further elaborates on attitude through specifics. For example, often times, we just greet people, and we do not think much of it. But we can show a positive or negative attitude just by how we say hello too. We often get lazy about that, but imagine how refreshing it is when someone greets us in a warm way. In Surah 4:86, Allah said -

"When greeted with a greeting, you shall respond with a better greeting or at least an equal one. GOD reckons all things." (4:86)

And this thoughtful attitude clearly does not only apply to those we like or love. It should be extended with an attitude of hospitality and kindness even to those we could just as easily snub…

"O ye who believe! When ye go abroad in the cause of Allah, investigate carefully, and say not to any one who offers you a salutation: "Thou art not a believer!"..." (4:94)

In conclusion, way may find it hard to extend the extra effort to those who may not like us or who we may not be close to but when encountering them, reflect on this aya and guard it in your heart to remember when the situation comes along -

"Not equal is the good response and the bad response. You shall resort to the nicest possible response. Thus, the one who used to be your enemy, may become your best friend." (41:34)

I wrote this because I also need to remind myself that attitude is everything, and I think ESPECIALLY for Muslims. We can build a mosque, we can do great things for Islam, but one of the greatest things can simply come from the attitude we have towards people we might even just pass by on the street or deal with in a store, or our very own house guests and loved ones. May this inspire you and enrich your life.