In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful....

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful....

Introduction

This is a journal of my experience in life as as a Muslim convert. I share about the things I learn, question, reflect upon, achieve, and experience on the path of Islam. [96:1-5] Read! In the name of your Lord who created - Created the human from something which clings. Read! And your Lord is Most Bountiful - He who taught (the use of) the Pen, Taught the human that which he knew not.

About Maryam

I study Islamic Studies and International Business at the university, and enjoy studying political science and languages as well. On my free time I study Arabic, Hebrew, and religion. I am Guatemalan and American.I am also Spanish, Italian Scottish and German. I also speak Spanish, Japanese, and Italian. I love to learn about other cultures. I also love to learn about nutrition and fitness. I am very active in sports, outdoor activities and exercise, and flamenco dance class. I am fascinated with my country, Guatemala, it is such a beautiful place, full of variety and rich culture and history, especially the Maya. I LOVE to cook and I try to have a well-balanced diet. Someday I also hope to learn Amharic, Persian (Farsi), and Aramaic and I hope to travel to all of the middle east and Ethiopia, Japan, and Sicily.

Knowledge and Understanding

[2:269] He [Allah] grants wisdom to whom He pleases; and he to whom wisdom is granted indeed receives a benefit overflowing. But none will grasp the Message except men of understanding.
[20:114] High above all is Allah, the King, the Truth. Do not be in haste with the Qur'an before its revelation to you is completed, but say, "O my Sustainer! Increase my knowledge."
[3:190-191] Verily in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of night and day - there are indeed signs for men of understanding; Men who remember Allah, standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and contemplate the creation of the heavens and the earth (with the thought) "Our Lord! Not for nothing have You created (all) this. Glory to You! Give us salvation from the suffering of the Fire."
[39:9] ...Say: Are those equal, those who know and those who do not know? It is those who are endued with understanding that remember (Allah's Message).
[58:11] ...Allah will raise up to (suitable) ranks (and degrees) those of you who believe and who have been granted knowledge.

Sheikh Mishary Al Afasy

He came to my mosque in the USA to recite from the Qur'an recently and when he prayed salat he cried. My first time to pray the late night prayer during Ramadan was when I went to Kuwait in the Grand Mosque and Mishary was reciting Surat Maryam! Sub7anAllah... Here is a video of nasheed (Islamic poetry) from him. He has been blessed with a beautiful voice for praising Allah, masha' Allah. You can see some of his recitations of the Qur'an at my mosque at this site - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sg2QYHmRfY0&mode=related&search=

Monday, December 31, 2007

My Mother is in Kuwait

Assalamu alaikoum wa rahmatAllah,
I am not the only Muslim in my family anymore. :) AlhamdulEllah. My mother and I are very close and she was my greatest teacher growing up. From the time I was old enough to walk, I remember listening to her singing Hamd to God and sitting with her as she read parts of the Injil and Taurah and finding her in her room with her head covered on her knees praying and crying. She was so good with all people, and welcoming. She was always helping others and so loving for the sake of God. She rarely missed church to hear the sermon and to go to bible school and only invited me, never pressuring me to follow her examples.

When I became a teenager, the bible became alive to me. What was once a book of stories with morals, and difficult words, became a live manual for my life. It was what I opened to find comfort and peace when tormented by one problem or another. It was what I opened when I needed to learn how to act in different situations and it was what I opened to learn more about God and how I could love him more and serve him better in my life. But something was off. I became very committed to attending church and bible school yet the more I learned and grew spiritually, the more I felt like we were missing the mark on something.

Most parts of the bible taught me so many good things, yet I began asking myself why do we need to be saved by Jesus when the bible clearly states we have forgiveness from God if we just repent and believe in Him? Even Jesus himself taught this. I felt strange and confused worshiping both God and Jesus. I had no problem understanding the logic based on faith for seeing God and Jesus as one, but I just didn't see why this had to be. I began worshiping God alone when others would be worshipping Jesus' name in hamd, I would focus on just the name of God.

When I would worship Jesus, I felt as though in a way I was offending Jesus and taking away from the message he was brought here to give. Even when I had read the bible many times and reflected on Jesus' words, the idea of ascribing others to God just seemed unnecessary and only seemed to further confuse the concept of worshiping one God. It was so much easier to just focus on one name on one complete entity of God, not a trinity.

When I began praying directly to Allah and worshiping him without worshiping Jesus, it gave me so much peace and allowed me to grow spiritually more than ever. I loved Jesus and it was great to give him his honor as a prophet of God. I loved Jesus and felt I was dishonoring his name by worshiping him as God. It was the message of Jesus that first brought me to the right path, and what motivated me to keep asking the hard questions, and pursuing truth and justice and complete submission to Allah.

When people would ask me later on, if I was the only Muslim in my family, I would tell them I was not the only, I was the first. I was hoping of course that others in my family would someday also find Islam. However, never did I imagine that so soon on of them would do it, and for it to be my own mother was the greatest gift I have ever had. I had a feeling in my heart she might, just because she loved God so much and wanted so much to submit to Him.

What is interesting is that she converted to Islam when I was halfway across the world from her. When I was back home we used to study the Quran together and she used to ask me questions so I gave her a Quran. When I was in Kuwait, we would save part of our phone conversation for talking about Islam. One night, a month ago, my mother told me that she was thinking she might convert to Islam when she would be in Kuwait with me for winter break. But when she was thinking that, she realized she already believed in one God and that Mohammed was also a messenger of Allah. So she converted on her own. AlhamdulEllah.

When she came to Kuwait for winter break, she prayed Eid salat with me for Eid Al-Adhah. It was a beautiful experience to be able to pray in the mosque with my mom and for it to be her first time. We went to Dr. Mohammed Al-Awthy's home and my mom met his family too. He wanted to interview her for his show for Ramadan.

I am sooooo happy for her. I don't have words to express how happy I am for my mom. There is no word that can do justice for what I feel in my heart. AlhamdulEllah. May all of us find the straight path.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Naciones Unidas - United Nations - اللمميل متاحدة

Assalamu alaikoum,
It has been too long since I last posted. So sorry about that! I have been busy every second for the past month. AlhamdulEllah. Since I wrote last, many things have happened. In this post I will just concentrate on my United Nations experience. I won the diplomacy award at the Model United Nations Conference in Bahrain and I was appointed as Chair of the Atomic Energy Committee for next year. It was a very exciting conference.

I worked day and night on preparing for this. I was required to prepare at least one resolutions for the three issues to be addressed at the conference which were; Women Empowerment, Drug Enforcement, and Illegal Arms Trafficking. I wanted to be extra prepared so I researched well on all three topics in the event I would have an opportunity to submit a resolution for any. I created a resolution for drug enforcement before the conference as that was my main focus, but all three were important to me because I was addressing them all in light of globalization, integration, mechanisms for implementation of resolutions, and education.

As I stated in an earlier post, I represented the Republic of Panama in the General Assembly. I have to say that I feel I couldn't have had a better set of teammates. My university's MUN team was so great. I consider them like family. We really work well together and I have learned so much from each one of my teammates, and I share my award with them because they are also winners and they helped me to succeed in more ways that I can count. They are an inspiration to me. I will miss them all so much when I go back to the states, but they will all be in my heart. The delegate of Eritrea, one of my teammates from Kuwait, is particularly amazing when it comes to public speaking. I wish we could have taped the conference so I could share his speeches and debates with you. There are no words to truly give him justice.

My roommate and closest comrade at the conference was the delegate of Kuwait. We agreed to co-submit a resolution on Women's Empowerment together after we heard USA's and found it to be redundant to what already has been proposed by the UN and NGOs. Our resolution was actionable and sustainable and more well-rounded. We succeeded in persuading more than half of the GA to support ours instead and the USA's resolution failed after a debate was conducted for and against it.

A crisis arose in the middle of our conference; the PKK attacked Turkish troops in Northern Iraq and we had to come together to propose a resolution. We came up with an amazing and diplomatic solution and it past with 54 and 6 against, something like that. Then, it was time to submit drug resolutions. At this point, many delegates approached me and asked if I was doing a drug resolution and that they would sign under mine if I was. Even the delegate of the US choose to sign under me. My resolution had 36 clauses! A record for Model United Nations and it past with 55 for and 1 against, something like that. It was unbelievable.

My approach throughout the conference was the theme of finding mechanisms and ways to make resolutions actionable, not just pretty-sounding. I also focused on the themes of sustainability, education and increasing awareness and knowledge that leads to empowerment, and international cooperation and regional integration. I also emphasized the importance of law enforcement and using innovation to create smarter and more sustainable ways to connect each other and form networks for better communication and exchange of knowledge.

I am so thankful to Allah for the wonderful opportunities he has given me since coming to the Middle East. I am EXCEEDINGLY and ABUNDANTLY blessed, masha Allah. My cup runneth over.... SubhanAllah. Allah is soooo gracious and merciful. I have learned so much in such a short time about myself, my deen, my purpose and so much more here. I have been blessed with the privilege of having so many new oustanding friends and colleagues that I learn from and love more every day that passes. The MUN team is just one example of the many things I have to be grateful for. I hope that the skills I have earned through it will serve to make a difference in Kuwait and wherever else I get the opportunity to contribute in some way to the future of our global community. I am with my mom now, which is something else I must write about, but I have to study for my International Business test and Arabic grammar quiz for tomorrow. I have uploaded the documentary I made of my most recent experience in Bahrain for the Model United Nations conference. I hope you enjoy it!! :)