In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful....

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful....

Introduction

This is a journal of my experience in life as as a Muslim convert. I share about the things I learn, question, reflect upon, achieve, and experience on the path of Islam. [96:1-5] Read! In the name of your Lord who created - Created the human from something which clings. Read! And your Lord is Most Bountiful - He who taught (the use of) the Pen, Taught the human that which he knew not.

About Maryam

I study Islamic Studies and International Business at the university, and enjoy studying political science and languages as well. On my free time I study Arabic, Hebrew, and religion. I am Guatemalan and American.I am also Spanish, Italian Scottish and German. I also speak Spanish, Japanese, and Italian. I love to learn about other cultures. I also love to learn about nutrition and fitness. I am very active in sports, outdoor activities and exercise, and flamenco dance class. I am fascinated with my country, Guatemala, it is such a beautiful place, full of variety and rich culture and history, especially the Maya. I LOVE to cook and I try to have a well-balanced diet. Someday I also hope to learn Amharic, Persian (Farsi), and Aramaic and I hope to travel to all of the middle east and Ethiopia, Japan, and Sicily.

Knowledge and Understanding

[2:269] He [Allah] grants wisdom to whom He pleases; and he to whom wisdom is granted indeed receives a benefit overflowing. But none will grasp the Message except men of understanding.
[20:114] High above all is Allah, the King, the Truth. Do not be in haste with the Qur'an before its revelation to you is completed, but say, "O my Sustainer! Increase my knowledge."
[3:190-191] Verily in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of night and day - there are indeed signs for men of understanding; Men who remember Allah, standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and contemplate the creation of the heavens and the earth (with the thought) "Our Lord! Not for nothing have You created (all) this. Glory to You! Give us salvation from the suffering of the Fire."
[39:9] ...Say: Are those equal, those who know and those who do not know? It is those who are endued with understanding that remember (Allah's Message).
[58:11] ...Allah will raise up to (suitable) ranks (and degrees) those of you who believe and who have been granted knowledge.

Sheikh Mishary Al Afasy

He came to my mosque in the USA to recite from the Qur'an recently and when he prayed salat he cried. My first time to pray the late night prayer during Ramadan was when I went to Kuwait in the Grand Mosque and Mishary was reciting Surat Maryam! Sub7anAllah... Here is a video of nasheed (Islamic poetry) from him. He has been blessed with a beautiful voice for praising Allah, masha' Allah. You can see some of his recitations of the Qur'an at my mosque at this site - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sg2QYHmRfY0&mode=related&search=

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Marriage (part one)

Salam everybody. The prophet Mohammad pbuh, as narrated by Anas, said;

"when a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion , so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half."

Islam encourages marriage because it upholds the family unit which Islam places importance on for many reasons that should seem very obvious. At any rate, I thought since the prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said the quote above, it is important to begin studying more deeply about it. I have learned a lot about marriage and the role of the wife through my studies as a Christian, but there is so much more to learn about this through Islam. I am not married myself, so this is something I want to prepare for through gaining more knowledge about Islam. Since I was old enough to consider it, I have always seen myself as a mother and wife. I was emotionally ready for that possibility, and everything I did, included the consideration of contributing to the lives of my future husband and children.

Even as a Christian, I knew I wanted to marry someone who I could picture as a good father, not just a good husband. Some people tend to overlook that important factor. He needs to be able to provide for my children not just materially, but spiritually and intellectually. I wanted my children to be able to grow up in a home with strong values and strong faith in Allah. I also thought it important that we compliment each other and someone who I could help. I see the wife as Christians do - not just as love, as a helper to her husband and a friend. As Eve was to be to Adam. I guess without even being aware of it at the time, deep down, I was waiting on a good Muslim.

Another thing that kept me from finding someone at the time was my career. I started working at the age of 16 to help my mom. I finished high school and started community college while working as well. I worked hard and turned out to be good at what I did. I ended up getting into an excellent career path and found success, and my job involved helping many people and trying to be the best example I could be to them. However my career was extremely time demanding and I worked all day long and traveled all around so I was never able to develop a social life except for to go to church and bible study.

I was content because my career involved serving the community and teaching young people important life skills and serving as a sort of ambassador for people coming from Asia and Latin America to work as professionals int the states. I taught them everything from literacy to English to money management to public relations. It was a very rewarding job to be able to help so many people. In addition to this, I was also taking classes at college part time. When I would be back at home, I would be so tired I would just want to spend time with my family. I worked in this career until I felt I could take a break from it to finish my university education and concentrate more on my spiritual life.

I was always very Christian and grew a lot spiritually through my experiences and career but I had questions that I needed to address that required more time dedicated to religious study. I left my career in early 2005. I studied Judaism and Hebrew that year intensively. As I stated in an early post, I wanted to study the roots of my religion, Christianity and its roots included Hebrew and Judaism. I still continue to study Judaism and Hebrew today, but now that I study Islam, Islam is number one for my religious study. I was able to dedicate much more time to myself now that I was not working and just going to college, which I really needed and i was able to complete all my required courses in order to enter the university as a junior. I got accepted into the university recently as I mentioned before. I have been studying Islam for a year now.

My plan was to go to the university to complete my degree in international business but also get my degree in Islamic studies. Since I am new to Islam, I have so much more to learn than someone who might have grown up as a Muslim. I want to make sure I have a base of knowledge of Islam and Arabic entering marriage because I want to be ale to help my children and be a good wife to my husband from the beginning. I know I will still have so much to learn and will continue to study even after I'm married of course, but I want to have a foundation first. I know how important it is to build strong foundations for everything in life. You do not build a tall building unless you first create a deep and well constructed foundation.

I have two more years until I get my first university degree. I figure two more years of waiting for marriage will be fine because I need to have some time just reflecting on my own person as a Muslim. Once I am married I am no longer just me, I am one with my husband so there are different dynamics there. However, I am at a bit of a crossroads.

I want to wait, and there are many good reasons for me to complete my university, but also good reasons why I should just marry now. I was thinking that since I don't know a lot of Muslims now anyway, and I will most likely meet people over time as I go to the university and attend the mosques, I will begin to develop a community of my own of Muslim friends. I am not worried about finding a husband because I know the Lord provides. I just want to properly do my part as well. In this culture, the emphasis is on the individual and the best thing one can do is have success through career or education. As for the cultural issue, MY priority is the family and Islam.

However, I do realize how valuable and helpful a good education is and I hope to have that because it will also contribute to my life and to the life of my entire family and community. However, I have realized recently that I need to be open to the possibility of marriage even if the opportunity comes before I complete my education because of my age. However, if I do that, I would still strive to complete my college education for the benefit of my life and the future. Before I learned what I learned about Marriage in Islam, I would never have considered the possibility of marriage before I finish school. I thought that it would not make sense to spread myself so thin.

I wanted to be able to focus completely on my marriage and not on both school and marriage at the same time. I still feel that way, but now I am more open to that possibility if that is what Allah wills for my life. I have read in many Muslim texts that marriage should not be put off or delayed especially if one has the means to do so.
Another reason for me to have an open mind towards getting married is that choosing marriage is another way of displaying obedience to Allah.

A man, however should not marry if he or she does not possess the means to maintain a wife and future family, or if he has no sex drive or if he feels marriage will seriously affect his religious obligation.The general principle is that prophet (pbuh), encouraged his followers to get married.

The Arabic word "zawj" means "a pair or a mate." In general it refers to marriage. The general purpose of marriage is that the sexes can provide company to one another, love to one another, procreate children and live in peace adhering to the commandments of Allah.

One difference between Islam and Christianity that I have noticed through my study is that in Christianity there was no rush for me to marry. On the contrary, the pastor of the church recommended to wait until mature enough and have finished school if possible. Also, I thought by waiting and just devoting time to religious study and community service and educating myself, I was not doing anything wrong. But in Islam, putting of marriage is not recommended. On the contrary, if you can, get married. In the bible there is a part that states that it is good for the man to not marry, but this is only in the cases where it would affect his ability to perform his religious obligations. This is a part in the bible that I believe was exploited by the church with regards to Catholic bishops, etc. You know what I'm talkin' about....

As a Christian I learned that one of our roles on earth is servitude and shining the light of God through our lives. So while I was single, I wanted to dedicate my time and focus my energy on my own development and on the serving of others and that is what my career was about. But Islam has shown me how much being married can also be a blessing for the community, and not just for me and my family. One thing I love about Islam is how everything in day to day life is so well-defined, al7amdulellah. When it comes to marriage, there are so many guidelines, including that which we might just assume to be so, such as the consent of both parties to go into marriage and in choosing their mates.
One verse in the Qur'an states;

"Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner. (2: 232)"

Another aspect is greatly emphasized by Imam Bukhari:

"When a man gives his daughter in marriage and she dislikes it, the marriage shall be annulled." Once a virgin girl came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said that her father had married her to a man against her wishes. The Prophet gave her the right to repudiate the marriage. (Abu Dawud).
Another interesting point about the process of marriage in Islam is about the "courtship." I put it in quotes because courtship in Islam is not viewed in the same way as it is in the western culture. I love this because I also agree with Islam that dating the western way is not in line with God's will for us. I wish that Christians today and the leaders of the church saw dating the same way that Muslims did, because I feel bad for all the people who are mislead in this. The Muslim way is so much healthier and wiser. Sub7anallah.

This passage is from one of my favorite website publications (http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/humanrelations/womeninislam/marriage.html
USC-MSA Compendium of Muslim Texts):

In order that problems should not arise after marriage the Prophet (peace be upon him) recommended that, in the selection of his bride, a man should see her before betrothal lest blindness of choice or an error of judgment should defeat the very purpose of marriage. But this "seeing" is not to be taken as a substitute for the "courtship" of the West. The man should not gaze passionately at his bride-to-be, but only have a critical look at her face and hands to acquaint himself with her personality and beauty. However, if a man so desires, he may appoint a woman to go and interview the proposed bride, so that she may fully describe the type of girl she is.

Since believing men and women are referred to in the Qur'an, a woman also has the right to look at her potential husband.

The special permission for men and women to see each other with a view to matrimony does not contravene the code of conduct for believing men and women to lower their gaze and be modest which is laid down in the Holy Qur'an.

And in closing, let me leave you with this verse from the Qur'an;

[24:32]
You shall encourage those of you who are single to get married. They may marry the righteous among your male and female servants, if they are poor. GOD will enrich them from His grace. GOD is Bounteous, Knower.

On that note, I highly recommend marriage to those who are single. I would love to be married and I think it is helpful for all who do the way Allah commands. Marriage is a fascinating and important topic for everyone. As for me, I hope to marry soon insha2 Allah. I am open to Allah's will for my life. Whatever He wills for me is what I want. Allah knows best. I will just do what I can to be a good Muslima and learn what I can by educating myself through the university and my personal study, praying at each step I take for Allah's guidance, and leave the rest in His hands. I hope to continue discussing it as I learn more. May this entry contribute to your pursuit of knowledge even if indirectly.
Alla ma3ak.




Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Alcohol and other intoxicants

While visiting my family over the holidays, I got into some fun and interesting conversations with my cousins and stepsisters, as usual. Somehow the conversation ends up gravitating towards religion at one point or another, al7amdulellah. This time the topic of alcohol was brought up when my cousin had been chatting about hanging out with another family member to go out for drinks or for "happy hour." At any rate, he noticed I do not drink alcohol. He asked me why not in a loving way. I explained that Islam forbids it. I also explained that it is also my personal preference not to. I knew it would not end there because my cousin likes to ask hard and intelligent questions which I always appreciate because it inspires me to continue pushing for and seeking more knowledge. He asked me why Islam forbids it. I stated it is a command from Allah and I obey it. I stated that the Qur'an specifically addresses it.
He asked me where in the Qur'an and I told him the verse from -
al-Baqarah 2:219
" They ask you (O Muhammad) concerning alcoholic drink and gambling. Say: "In them is a great sin, and benefit for men, but the sin of them is greater than their benefit."

He wanted to know where else this was mentioned about prohibiting it completely, because he reasoned that it should be okay to drink with moderation, as he used the example of Jesus (pbuh) turning water into wine. However, many fail to look deeper into the issue of Jesus and alcohol (which I hope to address in more detail at another time insha allah). Jesus (pbuh) changed water into wine, yes. It was seen as a miracle and one must fully read the story of that day to fully comprehend what this meant. It could be argued that Jesus (Pbuh) drank of wine on occasion in different verses of the bible (John 2, Matthew 26:29), although I would have to further examine this to be for sure and on that note let me explain a little about what wine actually was in those days. In Jesus' (pbuh) time, the water was not very clean. Without modern sanitation, the water was filled with bacteria and viruses.

As a result, people often drank wine (or grape juice) because it was far less likely to be contaminated. In 1 Timothy 5:23, Timothy was instructed to stop drinking the water (which was probably causing his stomach problems) and instead drink wine. In that day, the common drink of wine was fermented, but not to the degree nor for the time it is today. It is incorrect to say that it was grape juice, but it is also incorrect to say that it was the same thing as the wine we use today.

While the bible does not specifically prohibit the consumption of alcohol, it does command to absolutely refrain from drunkenness and addiction to alcohol (Ephesians 5:18; 1 Corinthians 6:12). There are definitely points in the Bible that make it extremely difficult to argue that a Christian drinking alcohol in any quantity is pleasing to God. So, in my view, I see the religions as a progression for humanity. God gave us a process. He did not slam us at once with the commands in the Qur'an, but slowly built up to it. It was a progression from Judaism to Islam.

The complete prohibition of alcohol therefore came with time and progress. So easy for us to swallow. Al7amdulellah. As for the Qur'an, when my cousin asked me to state other points where alcohol is specifically prohibited in the Qur'an I began to realize that I actually had no recollection of reading a part in the Qur'an where it specifically prohibited alcohol completely and explicitly. So I told my cousin I would look into that. I explained to him in the mean time that it may have been acceptable to drink a little as long as one did not get intoxicated before the Qur'an was revealed.

I know it was never condoned in the religion even before Islam to get intoxicated because the old testament specifically addresses this. The Bible condemns drunkenness and its effects (Proverbs 23:29-35). Christians are also commanded to not allow their bodies to be “mastered” by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12; 2 Peter 2:19). Scripture also forbids a Christian from doing anything that might offend other Christians or might encourage them to sin against their conscience (1 Corinthians 8:9-13). In light of these principles, it would be extremely difficult for any Christian to say they are drinking alcohol to the glory of God, and Christians are commanded that everything they do that they do for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Intoxicants altogether were forbidden in the Qur'an through several separate verses revealed at different times over a period of years. At first, it was forbidden for Muslims to attend to prayers while intoxicated (the Arabic word for drunk or intoxicated is "Sukara" which is also from the same root that the word sugar comes from.)(4:43). Then a later verse was revealed which I mentioned at the beginning. This was the next step in turning people away from consumption of it. Finally, "intoxicants" were called "abominations," intending to turn people away from God and forget about prayer, and Muslims were ordered to abstain (5:90-91).

The word for "wine" or "intoxicants" is al-khamr, which is related to the verb "to ferment." So basically any fermented drink could be interpreted through this or any intoxicating substance, including drugs.

The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was also quoted as saying something like this to his followers: if it intoxicates in a large amount, it is forbidden even in a small amount. Muslims respect and take to heart the words of the prophets in addition to the holy words of the Qur'an.

One more thing I wanted to mention is that it is not only about submission to Allah, but also it is for our good. For example, if we are not even allowed to drink a little bit, then we do not have to be concerned about at what point we would know we could get to without becoming intoxicated, for everyone is different in regards to this. Also, alcohol is like a snake, you do not know its got you until it has bitten you. By then it is too late. This was inspired through a biblical proverb I read a long time ago. Also, some people have tendencies toward alcoholism, and even one little sip can get them addicted to alcohol. Some may not even know they have this until they try their drink and by then it would be tool ate for them too. So in the end, it is not only better judgment to avoid it, but it is commanded of the All mighty and He knows best. Sub7anallah.

May this entry enrich you.. This is dedicated to my beloved cousin to whom I invite to always continue to ask the hard questions as it is a sign of wisdom and a thirst for knowledge, an admired quality to possess. For more interesting knowledge about Islam, I recommend www.islamonline.net


Thursday, December 21, 2006

Aramaic

Another language I would like to learn eventually is Aramaic. Issa (Jesus), peace be upon him spoke this. And some of the gospels were written in this language as well. There is one phrase that Issa said in particular that sparked my curiosity. When he was supposedly on the cross, this was written about it:
"From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Issa cried out in a loud voice:

"ELOI, ELOI, lama sabachthani?!"
(This is Aramaic, how beautiful it sounds)
It means "My Lord my Lord, why have you forsaken me??"

What I thought at first, is that it seemed pretty out of character for Issa to say something like that at such a pivotal moment, and that they were his last recorded words! But what many people do not know, is that Issa often quoted from the Talmud. Much of what he preached if not all, came from the untarnished version of the Torah or Talmud that he miraculously knew by heart. If you look into it, you will know that this phrase is the first sentence of King David's (peace be upon him) Psalm #22. If you read the whole Psalm, you will see it is actually a very powerful and positive message about God, and not a message of doubt or despair, but one of hope. Is it possible Issa was just alluding to this Psalm in his last moment on earth? Also, if he said this indeed, then it would been that he believed that Allah was within listening distance of him. Otherwise, if he had been without hope or faith, he would not have even tried to communicate to Him in the first place.

At any rate, I am aware that Muslims do not believe that Issa died on the cross, but I still have some researching to do about whether he was even hung on it at all and if not, then what of his powerful words on the cross? Well, his was just to address this phrase, although it could also just have come from the man who was in Issa's place on the cross crying out for God. But based on what I have learned so far, it does seem to me that it would have made sense for Issa to have said this after all. Below is the complete Psalm so you can see what I mean. At the third verse, you will see how it affirms the power of Allah, which is maybe what Issa was indicating through starting to say this Psalm in his last words before ascending to where Allah sent him, without tasting death. It truly is a lovely and inspirational Psalm:

Psalm 22

1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?

2 O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer;

and by night, but find no rest.

3 Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.

4 In you our ancestors trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them.

5 To you they cried, and were saved; in you they trusted, and were not put to shame.

6 But I am a worm, and not human; scorned by others, and despised by the people.

7 All who see me mock at me; they make mouths at me, they shake their heads;

8 “Commit your cause to the Lord; let him deliver—let him rescue the one in whom he delights!”

9 Yet it was you who took me from the womb; you kept me safe from my mother’s breast.

10 On you I was cast from my birth, and since my mother bore me you have been my God.

11 Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help.

12 Many bulls encircle me, strong bulls of shan surround me;

13 they open wide their mouths at me, like a ravening and roaring lion.

14 I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted within my breast;

15 my mouth is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to my jaws; you lay me in the dust of death.

16 For dogs are all around me; a company of evildoers encircles me. My hands and feet have shriveled;

17 I can count all my bones. They stare and gloat over me;

18 they divide my clothes among themselves, and for my clothing they cast lots.

19 But you, O Lord, do not be far away! O my help, come quickly to my aid!

20 Deliver my soul from the sword, my life from the power of the dog!

21 Save me from the mouth of the lion!

From the horns of the wild oxen, you have rescued me.

22 I will tell of your name to my brothers and sisters; in the midst of the congregation I will praise you.

23 You who fear the Lord, praise him! All you offspring of Jacob, glorify him; stand in awe of him, all you offspring of Israel!

24 For he did not despise or abhor the affliction of the afflicted; he did not hide his face from me, but heard when I cried to him.

25 From you comes my praise in the great congregation; my vows I will pay before those who fear him.

26 The poor shall eat and be satisfied; those who seek him shall praise the Lord. May your hearts live forever!

27 All the ends of the earth shall remember and turn to the Lord; and all the families of the nations shall worship before him.

28 For dominion belongs to the Lord, and he rules over the nations.

29 To him, indeed, shall all who sleep in the earth bow down; before him shall bow all who go down to the dust, and I shall live for him.

30 Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord,

31 and proclaim his deliverance to a people yet unborn, saying that he has done it.

Family - USRA

I have noticed that a lot of people tend to inquire about my family when we are talking about my conversion to Islam. I thought it would be a good topic to address in my blog. All my life my family has supported me. They love me, and one way they express this love to me is to help me get on a righteous path. My family all comes from a Christian background of different sects, from Mormon to Episcopal to Pentecostal to Catholic. As a youth, my mother was a devoted Christian, even doing radio broadcasts of messages from the bible in Guatemala where she grew up. She was very strict with herself in reverence of Allah with every aspect of her life. She prayed and fasted feverently. We never missed church on Sunday. She always taught me the bible at home and sent me to church school when I was a child every week. At any rate, my mom always kept in her heart the scripture from the bible in Solomon's book of Proverbs (22:6) that says:

"Instruct a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it."

This is so true. My mother put me on the path that led me to Islam. She instilled in me a love for righteousness and a passion for pursuing the truth and obedience to Allah. May Allah bless my mom richly for what gifts she has given to me through this. I really began to study the bible on my own at the age of 14. This is when I began understanding the words without needing much outside interpretation. I knew I was beginning to grow spiritually. My mom allowed me the room to decide for myself. She never forced me to go to church. She just set the example of attending church, reading the bible, prayer and fasting and worship and serving others. All of these values easily translated into Islam for me.

I became a very devoted Christian however, before I even began to study other religions. I wanted to make sure I had a solid foundation in my faith before I began studying other faiths. I think that this makes sense. How could I look into other paths without fully questioning and testing my own religion? Once I completed a few complete read-throughs and thoughtful studies of the bible, I began to ask the hard questions. I began to wonder why we did not worship in a fashion more similar to how Jesus worshipped. I began to wonder why we needed an intermediary between us and God if Jesus' disciples did not and neither did Jesus, peace be upon them. I began to wonder why we believed that Jesus had to die for our sins to be erased, when Allah is oft-forgiving? Why if we can just kneel and ask God for forgiveness and repent from our sins we can be forgiven, would we need Jesus to die and be resurrected for God to forgive us?

I believed that Jesus was destined to be a martyr, and he knew that he had to, but not for that particular reason. I wanted to pray directly to God as Jesus had given through his example. I wanted to throw myself before God in prostration as Jesus did, not standing proudly as we do in church today. I wanted to humble myself before God. I could do all of this as a Christian however, if I wanted to, so this yet was not enough for me to separate myself from Christianity. At any rate, back to the topic - my family. When I first began to study other religions I had just taken a break from my career of 10 years in professional baseball, international relations. I was back at home and I wanted to study Judaism because Jesus lived as a Jew and Hebrew was the language used by the Hebrews with Moses and was a divine languages used by God. It was also related to other beautiful languages like Arabic and Aramaic.

I was fascinated by the roots of Christianity and I wanted to to the bottom of things. Why Christianity was as it is today with churches and pastors and their style of worship and belief in Jesus as God and the holy spirit. I wanted to understand where it all came from and why we needed it. I also admired the story of the prophets including Jesus, peace be upon them and I wanted to learn more about them. I was considering converting to Judaism because I wanted to worship only one God as the prophets did, peace be upon them. I wanted to go closer to the roots, and Hebrew was a better translation of the word of God than English in the bible. I wanted to learn what was included in the Jewish bible that was no longer or never included in the Christian bible, which I will not negate because I have learned so much from it and it helped to form me.

When my family saw me observing the sabbath in a more holy and reverent way than when I was christian, and when they saw that I began to take care of what I eat (kosher) and when they saw how I changed how I dress and how much I was learning about religion, they were supportive of my thoughts to become Jewish, like the prophets were before peace be upon them. I studied a lot about the Jewish religion, and I still do today, but one thing did not allow me to ever become Jewish. They do not believe that Jesus is a prophet of God! I could never turn my back on Jesus. NEVER. I love Jesus and believe in his message and I believe he was sent of Allah.

So I was at a crossroad. I did not believe from what I had read in the bible, that Jesus wanted for us to worship him like a God. I think he had different intentions than that. He was sent of God to bring an important message. Isn't this special enough? I love him just as much now as I did when I believed he was God. I just do not worship him. I only worship God. So I was stuck. I could not be Jewish and I could not be Christian. And I believe religion is important because it gives you guidelines to follow in your life. If you just decide to believe whatever you believe and be on your own, you will miss out on a lot and may miss the target for the after life. This is when I began to study Islam. I already told you that story so I will get back to family.

When I began to study Islam, my mom knew it because I shared with her the Surat Maryam. We began to discuss what little we knew about Islam. I began to study and ask a lot of questions about it. The more I learned the more I realized this is the path for me. When my mom knew I was planning to convert to Islam, she fully supported me. She helped me when I began to learn how to pray Salat and she always liked to hear me read the Qur'an. She has even expressed interest in becoming Muslim and she asked me for a Qur'an in Spanish which I got for her. Al7amdulellah.

My father was also very supportive of me. My parents are divorced so he is not around me as much as my mom. When we are together, we always talk about Islam. He is fascinated by it too. My grandmother and the rest of my family are happy that I am happy. My stepsisters support Palestine and seem to enjoy learning about Islam and the middle east. They also have Muslim friends, so my family is exposed to Islam in many ways, but through our own independent paths as Islam is not mainstream where we grew up here in Washington. My stepsisters' aunt's husband is Muslim and he lived in Kuwait for many years. He is originally from Pakistan. He talks with my family about Islam too.

Already I see how my life changed as a result of applying Islam to my life. I am also happy that I will be able to study Islam in my university. I was accepted not only to one but both universities and I was praying that even one accepts me because both are difficult to get into. I will be a junior this year, so I have two years left before my master's degree now. Al7amdulellah. So in the end, I love my family very much. I am the first Muslim in the family. I do not say the only, because maybe someday more people in my family will also take this path. insha allah. Anyway, I am very happy for this new path and I hope to share more with you about it in the future. Please share with others my web site and don't forget to leave me a comment or sign my guestbook and map. Peace be upon you all.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

I am officially a university student!!!! alhamdulellah!

Ya salam! I made my decision today. I had to decide today which university I was going to attend. I was stuck between the University of Washington and Pepperdine University. But I prayed about it and I decided to go to the university of Washington. It will be my third year, as a Junior. I have two years before I get my bachelor's degree. I like this school because there I can study international business and Islamic studies. Pepperdine because it is a Christian university, does not offer Islamic studies. Pepperdine is a very well-respected private university and very very difficult to get into. But I know that University of Washington is a better fit for me and I trust in Allah that this is the right choice. I'm excited to see how it will be. I begin this March as a Junior insha allah, which means I will have two years left before I get my degrees in Islamic Studies and International Business.

I have been thinking a lot about Christians and Jews. I love and respect both religions very much. I have learned and grown so much spiritually as a direct result from the knowledge I have obtained through study of these religions. It has brought me closer to God. However, now that I know what I know, I can't help but think that maybe we are all meant to be Muslim in these times. Maybe at one point in our history we were even Jewish, somewhere along our bloodline, and this is special. But in the end, the fact is that Jesus is a prophet, peace be upon him. He was more than just a good man, and not quite a God. Islam unlike Judaism, embraces Jesus as a prophet and Mary as his virgin mother. I could never deny Jesus' prophet hood. It is so crystal clear even in the bible as I read it. As a learned about Mohammad, peace be upon him, and the Qur'an, I could never deny that this came from Allah either. It is good, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.

He was sent of God and he brought a message, a message of affirming the laws and tying this together with the intentions of the heart. We are to love the Lord our God with all our might. But when the Qur'an was sent through the angel Gabriel to prophet Mohammad, peace be upon him, this was a revelation for all of us. Not just one group. It was the seal. It was for us to combine heart and law and incorporate it into our lives. When you think about it, becoming a Muslim does not require one to give up his belief in Jesus as a holy man sent of God to earth, and it does not require one to give up his belief in the Talmud or the Torah. It does not require one to turn his back on his beliefs. It is simply a change in religious custom, tradition, and a new and complete set of guidelines to follow in life. At first, I saw it difficult for a Jew to convert to Islam. Because most Jews are Jewish because they inherited it over centuries.

How could one just give all that up? But really, what is one giving up? You keep the same blood, you stay Jewish, you are just following the reformed religion, the same religion, just reformed into its final form - Islam - submission to Allah. Before I believed that it's okay for believing Jews and Christians to stay as they are as long as they are sincere in their dedication to Allah. But now I think that it is each person's responsibility within his means to seek the truth, to pursue knowledge. Jesus knew all of the Torah and studied the Talmud even at a young age. We should also study. Why should we limit ourselves to our bibles or Jewish texts? We should also expand the study to other religions. Ignorance is not an excuse we can give God on judgment day. We are all in agreement there will be one.

We must all take initiative to study. If our faith is as strong as we believe it to be, then it will not hurt our faith to study the other religions. It will only make it stronger. Becoming a Muslim was not leaving God and the prophets behind, it was seeing them in a new light, and receiving new guidance for my life through the unchanged word of the Qur'an. It is my prayer that all Christians and Jews at least study this for themselves. Allah will lead those who seek truth to it. I don't agree with people who hide behind their religion and fear to study other religions because they think it is like a sin or something. Studying about another religion does not mean you are changing to that religion. You are just educating yourself, which is so important to do. Maybe it will lead you to the conclusion that you should get on a different path, maybe it won't, but either way you will be enlightened. And we all can benefit from increased knowledge. All three books emphasize the value of knowledge. I believe Allah appreciates that we care enough to look into these matters.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Salat Al Istikhara


Hi!!!! Sorry for taking so long to write. I got sick with a cold for about a week and fell behind with everything. I am feeling better now, alhamdulellah. I don't know why I got sick as I had been taking very good vitamins, eating fresh homemade vegetable and fruit juice and eating very healthy and exercising. I think maybe because of the change of weather, it has gotten very cold suddenly here. I am very happy because I was accepted for admission to both universities I want to attend - University of Washington and Pepperdine in California. I still don't know which one I will choose. One is private and very expensive, but it would be in California where there are many opportunities and many people of all nationalities. It is very interesting. It is also a very prestigious school. The other has one of the top twelve business schools and also offers Islamic studies as a major. I will pray about it a lot. There is a special prayer in Islam for this type of thing. It is called Istikhara. It is actually considered a du3a. SALAT AL-ISTIKHARA is a ritual prayer for seeking guidance from Allah in seeking the best option. The prophet Mohammad, peace be upon him, used to pray this, and he is quoted as having said in teaching others this prayer:

"O Allah, I ask You to show me what is best, through Your knowledge, and I ask You to empower me, through Your power, and I beg You to grant me Your tremendous favor, for You have power, while I am without power, and You have knowledge, while I am without knowledge, and You are the One who knows all things invisible.

Allahumma inni astakhiru-ka bi-'ilmi-ka wa astaqdiru-ka bi-qudrati-ka wa as'alu-ka min fadli-ka 'l-'azim fa-inna-ka taqdiru wa la aqdiru wa ta'lamu wa la a'lamu wa Anta 'Allamu 'l-ghuyub :

O Allah, if You know that this undertaking is in the best interests of my religion, my life in this world, and my life in the Hereafter, and can yield successful results in both the short term and the long term, then make it possible for me and make it easy for me, and then bless me in it.

Allahumma in kunta ta'lamu anna hadha 'l-amra khairun li fi dini wa dunyaya wa akhirati wa 'aqibati amri wa 'ajili-hi wa ajili-h :fa-'qdir-hu li wa yassir-hu li thumma barik li fi-h :

If not, then turn it away from me, and make it easy for me to do well, wherever I may happen to be, and make me content with Your verdict, O Most Merciful of the merciful.'"

wa illa fa-'srif-hu 'an-ni wa yassir liya 'l-khaira haithu kana ma kuntu wa raddi-ni bi-qada'i-ka ya Arhama 'r-rahimin :

* When making the du'a, the actual matter or decision should be mentioned instead of the words "hathal-amra" ("this matter").*


AMIN! This is excellent. Allah knows best!

So I will keep you posted as to my decision. I was going to talk about angels this post, but I will leave it for my next one.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Halal Food

"2salam wa 3laikoum." I always knew, even before knowing much at all about Islam and Muslims, that at least part of this commonly used phrase among muslims meant "peace." Salam, in many forms is used in many cultures. I also connected it with the Hebrew word "Shalom." They sound very similar. Anyway, as for asalam wa alaikoum, I felt I should learn exactly what it means since it is coming out of my mouth and so that I can explain it well when people ask me about it.

"Assalamu alaikoum" is an Arabic phrase that literally means, "peace be with you."


"Assalamu alaikoum" is a Muslim greeting. Muslims of all nationalities, whether they speak Arabic or not, say "Assalamu alaikoum" when they meet and again when they depart. It is a way of showing respect to a Muslim brother or sister and of wishing them well. The response is, "Wa alaikoum asalam," meaning, "And peace be with you."

With that cleared up, I just want to share a little bit about how my day went before I go to sleep. Today was Thanksgiving in the United States. This is a day to reflect on what we are thankful for and a memorial of the first people who came to colonize the United States, the pilgrims. It was my first Thanksgiving cooking the turkey myself. In the past on this holiday I was either in a country that did not celebrate this day or I was celebrating it with all my family and my grandma was making the big dinner. It is tradition to have a turkey dinner on this day.

Today was extra special for me, not only because it was my first time making a thanksgiving dinner myself, but also because I had a Halal turkey! I didn't know if that would be easy to find, but a friend of mine found one and brought it over for me to cook. It turned out so delicious! I made that with mashed potatoes, vegetables, homemade croissants, gravy sauce, cranberry sauce, and lots of different kinds of desserts. I am trying my best to only eat meats that have been killed according to religious doctrine. I have been eating only Halal meat for almost a year now. At first it was hard not to get a burger at McDonald's, or eat at any restaurant, but I am very happy that I can be disciplined with this now. I even feel healthier now, alhamdulillah.


Halal is the word for what is permissible according to the Shari'ah, which is Islamic law. Judaism also has a term for what is permissible for their food as well, which is Kosher. They are different, but hold some similarities as well. As for the meat, both the Jewish and Muslim religions demand that slaughter is carried out with a single cut to the throat, rather than the more widespread method of stunning with a bolt into the head before slaughter. T
he brain is instantaneously starved of blood and there is no time to start feeling any pain.

The Quran teaches that God is extremely
displeased with those who prohibit anything that was not specifically prohibited in the Quran, See 16:112-116. If you worship God Alone, you will uphold His teachings ALONE and honor the commandments and prohibitions instituted by HIM ALONE.
God very clearly mentioned in the Quran what is prohibited in regards to food and meat. See 2:173, 5:3, 6:145 and16:115. From these verses you can know what is Halal (lawful) meat and what is haram (prohibited).

"He only prohibits for you the eating of animals that die
of themselves (without human interference), blood, the
meat of pigs, and animals dedicated to other than GOD. If
one is forced (to eat these), without being malicious or
deliberate, he incurs no sin. GOD is Forgiver, Most
Merciful." [2:173]

You do not need to guess hard to understand the MERCY of the MOST merciful. Allah knows many Muslims will live in the middle of Christians and Jews and will be sharing their food and for this reason God told the Prophet Mohammad more than 1400 years ago, the following;

"Today, all good food is made lawful for you. The food of the people of the scripture (Jews & Christians) is LAWFUL (HALAL) for you......" 5:5

These verses were revealed at a time when Allah already told us that the people of the scripture distorted their books. God Almighty has also specified a very important criteria for His true believers, MENTION ALLAH'S NAME on everything you are going to eat. See 5:4, & 6:118-119,

"You shall eat from that upon which God's name has been pronounced, if you truly believe in His revelation." 6:118

"Why should you NOT eat from that upon which God's name has been mentioned ? He has DETAILED for you what is prohibited for you, unless you are forced. Indeed, many people mislead others with their personal opinions, without knowledge. Your Lord is fully aware of the transgressors." 6:119

Allah in these verses puts the responsibility, as usual, on the individual. It is you , I and everyone's responsibility to mention God's name on everything we eat. Notice here that God says "EAT" and not "SLAUGHTER" when it comes to mentioning His name.

[16:116] You shall not utter lies with your own tongues stating: "This is

lawful, and this is unlawful," to fabricate lies and attribute them to GOD.
Surely, those who fabricate lies and attribute them to GOD will never
succeed.

[10:59] Say, "Did you note how GOD sends down to you all kinds of
provisions, then you render some of them unlawful, and some lawful?"
Say, "Did GOD give you permission to do this? Or, do you fabricate lies
and attribute them to GOD?"

[5:87] O you who believe, do not prohibit good things that are made
lawful by GOD, and do not aggress; GOD dislikes the aggressors.
[5:88] And eat from the good and lawful things that GOD has provided
for you. You shall reverence GOD, in whom you are believers.

I guess the bottom line for this post is that I think it is so important to know the word of Allah. As a Christian, I always tried to write the words of the bible on my heart so that everything I did or received would be based on or connected to the word. I think it is important to always find a base for things out of the holy word, not just take what people say at face value. As I am new to Islam, many people tell me many things for the most part with great intentions, but without a base in the Qur'an or its supporting word. It is my responsibility to search for the base in the Qur'an, which is why I looked in the Qur'an for references to Halal food.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Good News

2salam wa 3laykom! I hope you are well. It has been a week since I began committing to praying the five daily prayers, and so far so good! :) It is the best part of my day to spend time just communicating with Allah. A lot has happened this week since this decision. I finally received the decision from the university and I have been accepted! Alhamdulellah! I have been waiting for this opportunity for so long. I spent ten years of my life working in a great career where I found a lot of success and I was very happy with my work because I was helping a lot of people everyday. I learned so much and it helped to develop my character.

However, now I am ready to take a break from it to seek my next chapter in life. My current goals are to get my International Business and Islamic Studies degree, get my Master's in International/Immigration Law and somewhere around that time insha Allah start a family. If I did work, which I don't see myself doing too much once I get married, I would Iike to work in diplomatic relations or as legal counsel for international operations with an organization. I enjoy anything that relates to law, international or intercultural relations, and serving the people. I used to be a teacher and I loved it. I will definitely continue to teach all my life in one way or another. Who knows? Maybe someday I can teach about Islam too, especially to my children when I have them.

I am looking forward to the classes about Islam that I will be taking at the university as well as improving my Arabic language skills. I met a new Muslim friend who is a teacher and she is helping me to learn about the hadith right now. The hadith are the collection of traditions from the Prophet Mohammad,
sallâ Allâhu ´alayhi wa sallam, (that means Peace be upon him) that include his sayings, acts, and approval or disapproval of things. Hadith is considered by Muslims as a major source of religious law and moral guidance. Almost all Muslims consider the hadith to be essential supplements and clarifications of the Qur'an, Islam's holy book.

As for the Qur'an, I am also studying Tajweed for reciting the Qur'an. The word Tajweed linguistically means 'proficiency' or 'doing something well'. It comes from the same root as the word 'Jayyid' in Arabic (meaning 'good'). The root letters are: Jeem, Waw and Daal. I love learning the roots of the languages of the prophets, sallâ Allâhu ´
alayhi wa sallam. I am very fascinated by this subject. When applied to the Qur'an, Tajweed means observing the rules that apply to each of the letters in different situations. Qur'an recitation is a beautiful thing. It is one of the things that brought me to Islam.

I remember the first time I truly listened to recitation of the Qur'an. It was surat Maryam. I mentioned about this story in my first post in this blog. I hope to be able to learn Tajweed so that I can recite the Qur'an well myself someday. I am trying to learn a new surat every day, and I am also working on making them perfect. The imam at my local masjid is an excellent reciter and he is teaching me the tajweed and how to pronounce it. He is a great teacher. I love the mosque I am going to. There are great classes, and it is soooo close to my house! Alhamdulellah!


Alhamdulillah
(الحمد لله) means "Praise to God" in Arabic, similar to the Hebrew Halelu Yah. In everyday speech it simply means "Thank God!" It is in the first verse of the first surat of the Qur'an, surat Al-Fatihah! This was the first surat I learned to recite.

Another interesting thing to note is that Muslims and Arabic-speaking Jews and Christians all use this phrase. I will let you know how my next classes go.

By the way, check out this great site about the prophet Mohammad,
sallâ Allâhu ´alayhi wa sallam; http://islamway.com/mohammad/

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Salat - Prayer

3salamu 3laikoum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh... One thing that I have always known all my life is the power of prayer. I have always prayed because I know this allows me to maintain my focus on God and maintain an open relationship with him. There are so many benefits to prayer, that I would spend a book writing about it. One of the first things that caught my attention about Islam, was how Muslims pray. I really admire their dedication to prayer and the passion and total reverence with which they do it. When I see them praying, I feel in my heart this is how the prophets prayed before them.

I always believed that if we really comprehended whom we are praying to, we cannot help but fall to the floor and worship. When I imagine Jesus, peace be upon him, praying, I see him prostrated, not upright in complete adoration and reverence of God. Jesus prayed in a posture and with an attitude of reverent submission, so why don't all Christians do so as well? I don't remember being taught in church that it is normal to put our faces to the ground as Jesus did. I wonder why not. Are we not to follow in his example? In the bible in the chapter of
Matthew 26:39, it is written: “Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Masha Allah. We know that sometimes he got up early to spend time with Allah. On occasions he would give a whole night to prayer.

I know as a Christian while I prayed a lot, I knew I could make time to pray longer and pray more often. It is common for people to find excuses for not praying.
But what is it that lies beneath these immediate excuses? It really is our own self-centered attitudes and our defensiveness toward God. People may build up a wall between us and God because they are not ready to give up their sinful lifestyle or feel guilty about something. It is easy to fall into that trap of avoiding communication with God through prayer. In the bible, in the very first chapter, Genesis, we quickly see the first man and woman, Adam and Eve disobey God and start to avoid him:

"That evening they heard the Lord God walking in the garden, and they hid from him among the trees. " Genesis 3: 8

Like Adam and Eve we know that to come to God face to face in prayer can expose us. We can't in any way claim to be open to God while at the same time nursing resentments, bearing grudges and generally insisting on running our own lives. That is just one of the many benefits of prayer; it opens us up to God, and exposes our sin. This is one important step in repentance. Exposing out sin. It is no longer hidden. In the face of all this, there is only one thing to do. We have to stop running, get on our knees, and pray.

I have been learning how to pray the Muslim five daily prayers and what they are all about for a few months now. I am now officially ready to begin consistently praying the five daily prayers. I begin today insha Allah. I am very excited for this new and healthy addition to my permanent lifestyle. I will get into more detail about Salat in future postings. Gotta get back to my studies. Fee aman Allah.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Islam and the Message of Jesus

Sabah al kher! (Good morning in Arabic) I am having a nice, relaxing Saturday morning so far. I just had a nice Guatemalan style breakfast with re-fried black beans and plantains and some yogurt (an Arabic twist). Yummy. Now I am just doing some reading on Shari'ah, which is Arabic for "a waterway that leads to a main stream, a drinking place, and a road or the right path." From this meaning, the word Shari`ah was used to refer to a path or a passage that leads to an intended place, or to a certain goal.
Shari`ah, refers to a set of rules, regulations, teachings, and values governing every aspect of a Muslim's life. Anyway, I was just thinking about Islam as a religion. Like I said in my prior post, I see religion as but a tool, not as the bottom line. God is the bottom line and submission to Him. That is why I am not completely in agreement when people put too much emphasis on saying their religion is the one true path to God. I know that the one true path to God is SUBMISSION TO HIS WILL!!! And guess what? That is what Islam means!!! And not only that, but also Islam is what all the prophets have been teaching us, Jews, Christians and Muslims alike.

So in this perspective, I would have to say that Islam IS the only path to God. I am not the best person at explaining concepts, but I hope you get what I am trying to say. The idea of submission to one God was the message of every prophet from Abraham to Mohammad, peace be upon them. Religion is important because it is the launching pad for this way of life.
Jesus (PBUH) and his Message - to free us from the law or to fulfill the law?

I often heard Christians defending their religion and putting down Islam by using the idea that Jesus has made them free from the law and that all Muslims are slaves to the law still because they have not been redeemed by Jesus. I however, never interpreted my studies of the bible and Jesus' sayings in this way. On the contrary. I saw that Jesus was here to uphold the law and remind us of the true essence of it. The law is for our benefit. Why should we see it as something bad? The law IS freedom. Freedom from the bondage of sin! I thank God for His laws. It is just one other way he shows us His love for us. For example,
in the bible, in Matthew 5:38-39, Jesus said,

"You have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth".
But I say to you, do not resist an evildoer. If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."

This is a very well-known passage, but most Christians, including myself, have only partially interpreted it to mean that we should love and forgive our enemies and not be vengeful but to leave the vengeance to God. In each of the times in the bible that Jesus quotes the provisions of the Jewish Law, he did it without any criticism, and if you reread those passages in the bible you will see that. Jesus was not criticising the law, but endorsing it! Not only this, but he was calling on his followers not only to refrain from the abuses the Law condemns, but to go to the opposite extreme by exercising forgiveness and love — even when one has a just claim to vengeance.

So, he is explaining the law and encouraging people to adhere to it, and he took it even further by urging his followers to go further than the Law demands, in order to "Be perfect". For example, don't just punish people for their sins, also love them and forgive them and be strong in a tolerant manner. That is one thing that was amazing about him. He followed the law if you will note, but also took it further by doing everything in love. Well, I gotta go do some errands. I hope you enjoyed my ideas.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

How I Found Islam

3asalamu 3alaikoum! Ahlan wa sahlan (welcome) to my blog! My birth name is Rosemary which in Arabic is Warda or Zahra (rose/flower) Maryam (Mary/Maria). Most people either call me Maryam or Rosie. I am starting this blog so that I can share with my friends and anyone interested about my journey to Islam. I am going to start with a brief recounting of some of the things that inspired me to choose this path for my life. It will only be a brief overview as unfortunately, I have very little time right now to devote to free-writing as I have a lot of school work to do. But I will continue to add and develop my story over time. In the meant time, I hope you enjoy my testimony of my decision to consider Islam for my life.

I actually grew up with the pentecostal church. My favorte church, and my church family is in a church called Mt. Calvary Christian on Union Street in Seattle with the pastor Reggie Jackson (although since I've been there it has moved to Renton). I was actually greatly exposed to many different sects of Christianity growing up, from Mormon life to Catholicism, through my extended family and people I have lived with in my many travels, which added depth to my understanding of the Cristian religion.

Let me first say one thing. I do not believe that there is one perfect man-made religion, because man is not perfect. I think that only God is perfect and His Word. Islam came directly from Allah to us, it is simply to completely submit to his will. Islam has been here in different forms but the people have rebelled from it over history. If you see Islam in these terms, then it would make sense to consider that Jesus and the prophets before him pbut were Muslim as well. I think that religion as a combination of Allah's commands and man made systems to implement it, is necessary for us because it provides us with a path to God's will and a guide to stay on it. After all, it is one reason Allah gave us the ability to reason. Every thing that happens to us has its process so there are different ways to go about it from different perspectives but in the end the key is to stay in Allah's will and obedient to him with regards to that, and it is easier to when you have a wise guide through religion to apply that to each situation in life.

As for Christianity and Judaism, being sisters to the religious practice of Islam, if you were born into these religions or adopted them along the path of life, if they seem to be what brings you into God's will, and inspire you to begin asking questions about Allah and what your purpose in life is, then than that's good, as long as you truly study it and ask the hard questions instead of just accepting whatever is thrown at you as true. We have no excuse not to look into religion further than we do. I know that I am thankful for having been Christian because I learned a lot for my life and it brought me to study Islam.

We must test all that is said to be true. That is how I felt about my own path. I am not much into denominations and all that, although I think it is important to find a church family that you are compatible with and are in line with your beliefs and research. I did love my church family and felt happy as a Christian, but after my studies and testing of Islam I knew it was the best tool for me to truly refine my lifestyle and direct all my steps towards God.

I love ALL of the prophets and Islam reveres them all, including Jesus, but there is no mediator needed between the people and their Lord in Islam, just as Jesus and the prophets and believers before him needed no mediator. God is forgiving of us. Yes we are sinners, but God is oft-forgiving, there is no blood to be shed, only prayers to be said. haha, I just made a rhyme! woohoo!

Anyway, I just think the bottom line should be on God and on seeking His will through obedience, worship and service. Religion and church is just a tool. I try as much as possible to understand how Jesus lived in worshipping God. This is one great example for our lives. It is right in front of us. I've always enjoyed studying the bible, and have done it diligently from cover to cover. As I learned more and more how Jesus and the prophets (peace be upon them) lived and worshipped Allah, I wanted I learn how I could follow more closely to example, as that is what as a Christian we were taught to do.

In Jesus' time (pbuh), no one worshipped him, but they loved him and followed his way. The church was everywhere, not just in a building, and the laws were followed and clearly defined to the people. The prophets, including King David, Joseph, Moses, Abraham, and Jesus (peace be upon them) would fast diligently and throw themselves to the earth to pray heartfelt prayers and were in communion with God. I wanted to go back to this way.

I studied Judaism through the Jewish studies center at my local university as Jesus lived among the Jews, before the Muslim Qur'an came around or before Christianity existed as we know it today. Hebrew was the first language known to be used in communicating holy words. This made it extra special to me. It is where the word Allah comes from (you may here its root reflected in "Hallelujah", "Elohim"). It is fascinating to learn the roots of these languages and the connection among holy words from Hebrew to Arabic to Aramaic. They are based on a root system. Each word comes from a certain root. Their alphabets are also similar although they may look very different. Anyway, I learned a lot by studying the original Torah, the book that has much of the Old Testament.

I learned a lot about how people worshipped in the time of Jesus and their level of reverence towards God's laws and commands. I felt that all that I needed to follow God's will for my life was in the Taurah, and the Jewish way, which was the original way. However, one important element for me would not allow me to convert to Judaism and go back to the old ways. They did not see Jesus as God or even as a prophet. I could never deny the power God gave to Jesus to bring his message. I love Jesus sooo much. After all, through his words and life, I came to know and love God in the first place.

All this time, I have been happy as a Christian. I am not one to shun Christianity or deny its power on people to turn to God. But like i said in the beginning, for me, religion is but the tool, not the point. The point is God. So I just want to be on the path that is best for me to be the best believer I can be for God. After Judaism, I continue to study it and I love it of course because it was what Moses and many of the prophets (peace be upon them) were and is actually the same base as all of the three main religions, and the same central laws and beliefs.

I see religion as a progression. It began with Judaism, but people went a stray, so Jesus came to reaffirm the way, and it made great waves, but some people misinterpreted it and changed it over time, then came the Qur'an, the holy words not interpreted by a writer, but spoken directly to the angel Gabriel who in turn gave it to the prophet Mohammad, peace be upon him.

I had never known much about Muslims before that except that they dressed modestly, reverently to God, had strong family units, knew a lot about God and religious practice, and prayed so passionately to God. But I didn't know what it was about. I made a friend who was Muslim and was between Christianity and Islam. We often studied together and asked the tough questions and debated. It made me see how closely connected Christianity actually was to Islam. The roots of it.

I remember one friend of mine sent me a audio file via Internet of the chapter on Mary in the holy Qur'an. It was absolutely magnificent. It filled the house with such an electricity. Even the Arabic was impacting and the translation was amazing. I learned so much about Mary and her time having Jesus (peace be upon them). She is so revered in the Qur'an. And there are more details about her in it than their are int he bible. And they line up so well with what is in the bible about her. Just hearing that passage inspired me to begin study of Islam.

I first wanted to address Jesus. I learned that not only is he mentioned more in the Qur'an than the prophet Mohammad (peace be upon them), but that he is considered a great prophet of God. His stories in the Qur'an are so incredible. I love Jesus, and it is my belief based on my study that Jesus did not mean for us to worship him, but only to stress that he was sent of God, and that we are all one and we may become one with him and the Father if we submit to His will. I love Jesus and feel I am not following his teaching by worshiping him. I just want to worship God just as he did. God is forgiving, he is merciful.

I repent and want to worship only him. I want to honor Jesus and the prophets and I do so in prayer, but not to the point of saying he is God. I also like the fact that the Qur'an teaches that all true believers, Christians, Jews, and Muslims will be received on Judgment day, and that Jesus is the messiah and will come to fight the anti-christ. At any rate, as you can see there are many parallels between these religions. I could go on for ever, but if you made it this far, I will give you a break.

So, in conclusion, Islam is the path I have found to be the most efficient for me to be able to submit fully to God's will. I love how it defines the holy path so clearly, and provides help to get you to be more consistent in direct communion with God through the five daily prayers with no intermediary required, the emphasis on purity, which helps remind us that God is oft forgiving and also the clear teachings on almost any topic you can imagine to help you stay on the straight path.

Well, I have to get back to my calculus homework before I fall too far behind. Feel free to comment! Fee min Allah