Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

One thing that my last post about Taqwa reminded me of was the concept of the "Fear of the Lord." I remembered a Proverb I learned that impacted my life as a woman and helped me to understand my role as a woman and wife and mother. I never took the time to reflect a lot upon it, so I thought I would take the chance to do it now, and see how it relates to what I understand about my role as a woman in Islam. I love to study religion. My guidance in my life is the holy Qur'an, but i like to study religion in general from a Muslim perspective and parallel the other books to the complete and holy Qur'an. Muslims are taught that God sent down other books. Besides the Qur'an, the others are the book of Ibrahim (now lost) the Law of Moses (the Taurah), the Psalms of David (the Zabûr) and the Gospel of Jesus (the Injil). The Qur'an describes Christians and Jews as "the people of the Book" (ahl al Kitâb). So we are all connected as people of the book.

This proverb (Proverb 31) by King Solomon, son of King David, given to him by his mother as he was preparing to become king, was traditionally recited in the Jewish home every week on the eve of the Sabbath for thousands of years and it was one of the most influential verses in my life from the bible....

The Woman Who Fears the Lord

<sup>Here it is with commentary and reflection:

"10</sup>A strong and virtuous woman, who can find?
For her worth is far above pink pearls."
(The Hebrew word chayil, translated here "noble," or "virtuous" from a noun meaning moral and physical and spiritual strength, efficiency, ability. Also God-Fearing is implied in this same term in other parts of the bible - Taqwa. Pink pearls were highly valued in ancient times and found in the Red Sea.)

¹¹The heart of her husband trusts in her, that he shall have no need of spoils."
"She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
(So she is reliable and consistent and dependable. Being able to fully trust your marriage partner is one of the fundamental foundations of a strong God-honoring marriage. Not only this, but also the word spoils comes from after a battle as the victorious soldiers would take anything valuable from their defeated foes and thus would GAIN riches and profits from battle. So this is to mean that because his wife manages the home so well and she is so industrious and productive that her efforts result in great GAIN and even PROFIT.)

"She selects wool and flax and works willingly with eager hands."
(The virtuous woman enjoys working so much that she plans ahead for what she needs in order to accomplish her responsibilities. The word "willingly" is the word meaning "delight, pleasure." She takes great pleasure in her work. She does not see it as a boring task. )

"She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from far places."
(She not only does what is expected of her, but she also seeks to exceed the expectations, she makes an EXTRA effort to serve and please and impress. She may have brought in foods from distant lands by trading for them the wondrous garments or clothes that she made with her hands. The virtuous woman said, "Dear, I'm going to town but I don't need any money because I'm taking some of the fine linen which I have made and will trade it in for some items of food which you will really enjoy." How can he complain about that? It also seems that she recognized that it would be good for her family to give them great variety in their diet, including international dishes, and not to constantly give them the same foods all the time. )

"She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls." "In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers."
( She is up before the sun, showing that laziness has no place with her and that she does not miss fajr prayer. This means that she is a good leader. She realizes to be a good leader she must have discipline, to be a good example, but she must also care for those under her authority and consider them. That is being a good leader. For example, if you have a boss who is always telling you what to do, but never considers your well-being, what kind of leader is that?? A leader must lead, but also consider his followers, as the woman here does by preparing the portions of food for her servants. Also, this shows an important point about nutrition and health. Nutritionists consider breakfast the most important meal of the day, nourishing the body that has not had any food for many hours, and providing energy for the long day. The virtuous woman makes sure that her family gets off to a healthy start. Also, if she is able to give daily meals to her family and have servants that she also feeds, this mean her family has prosperity or is not poor, and Allah rewards the pious ones not only with spiritual blessings, but material ones also).

"She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard."
(She thinks and reflects before she makes important decisions for her and her family. And she not only thinks about the present, she sets goals and makes long term plans. For example, here she invests her money to plant a vineyard so she can grow plants that will help them in the future. )

"She sets about her work vigorously; she girdeth her loins with strength, her arms are strong for her tasks." "Her lamp does not go out at night"
(To me this means that she takes care of herself, she is in shape and does exercise to maintain herself so she can have energy and strength to take care of her responsibilities because her family depends on her. Loins refer to the abdominal or hip region of the body, and any trainer will tell you that the abs and trunk are the core of the body for fitness. It supports the rest of the body. If this is not strong, then the back will be weak and one will also lack balance and endurance. "To gird" means to encircle or bind with a flexible band or girdle (belt). In Bible times both men and women wore outer robes or tunics. If the tunic was not girded it would interfere with a person's ability to walk freely. In Bible language, "to be girded" means "to be ready for action." "For thou hast girded me with strength unto the battle" (Psalm 18:39). As for the light of the lamp, that means that she might stay up to spend time with Allah in late night prayer often or reading and reflecting over the Qur'an, and that she works hard and does not sleep more than she needs. Also that she may be awake with her husband giving him attention and sharing with him.)

"In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers."
(This means that she has skills and does things with good technique. She develops her talents and hones her skills, including those to be a good mother and wife, through education and diligent application. This can also mean that she keeps her hands busy doing productive things, and this helps her to avoid sin by keeping herself occupied and focused on doing things that produce positive results.)

"She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy."
(Although it’s good to donate to needy causes, this means far more than writing a check. This woman shows personal concern. She visits the sick, comforts the lonely and depressed, and delivers food to those in need. But does not only mean the people who are materially poor. It also means those who are poor in spirit, who recognize their need for Allah in their lives, people who want to grow in religion. So this verse also means that she reaches out and helps people who are hungry for Allah to learn about the religion.)

"When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet."
(To me this means that she is smart, she plans ahead and is prepared and prepares her family for all circumstances so that they can be prepared for anything that comes their way. One lesson here is that the children of godly parents do not need to be dressed in drab and dull clothing. Drabness and dullness of apparel does not add to one's spirituality. There seems to be an allowance for clothing that is colorful and attractive. At the same time dress should be modest and not unnecessarily draw attention to SELF or to one's body.)

"She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple."
(For me this means that she has high standards, and she knows how to dress herself appropriately and tastefully for all occassions. Purple was prized by the ancients and exported far and wide. " Great labor was required to extract the purple dye, and thus only royalty and the wealthy could afford the resulting richly colored garments" (Unger's Bible Dictionary, p. 904). A total of 250,000 mollusks was required to make one ounce of the dye, which helps us to understand how valuable this dye was (Nelson's New Illustrated Bible Dictionary, p. 288). Purple cloth was used in the furnishings of the tabernacle (Exodus 25:4), in Solomon's temple (2 Chron. 2:14; 3:14) and in the high priest's dress (Exodus 25:4; 26:21). It was a royal garment worn by kings (Judges 8:26). She was industrious and enterprising, and she was able to purchase the finest materials, and with her own hands make the finest of garments. She did not consider it a mark of spirituality to go around looking impoverished, and bare. Rather, as was often true under the former dispensation, material prosperity was a sign of God's blessing, and was not to be despised. She wore presentable, elegant, quality and well-put-together clothing, royal clothing, to match her regal and godly character. Her outward garments of beauty and splendor matched her inner beauty and character. " She was not vain or arrogant and she well understood that external beauty fades (as we will see in verse 30). She was not arrogant in the way she dressed either. She understood that the most important clothing was the adorning of the inner self: "strength and honor are her clothing." And we find this parallel in the Qur'an of course:

"O children of Adam, we have provided you with garments to cover your bodies, as well as for luxury. But the best garment is the garment of righteousness. These are some of GOD's signs, that they may take heed." [Surah 7:26]

Dressing well, both inwardly and outwardly, is a virtue, not a sin. It is important to remember that the wearing of costly garments did not come at the expense of her family or the poor, nor did it interfere with any of her God-given duties:

If the virtuous woman has coverings of tapestry for her house, she makes them herself; if she is clothed with fine linen and purple, she earns it by her hard work and good financial management skills. Is it wrong for a believing woman today to go out and buy an expensive dress? Should she instead only shop at thrift stores where she can spend a minimal amount on necessary attire? In the Old Testament, great wealth and godliness were not incompatible. Abraham had tremendous wealth, as did David and Solomon, and they were not condemned for possessing riches. They were condemned for SETTING THEIR HEARTS on their riches (Psalm 62:10). So, the one begins to sin when more is thought of this external adorning, than of the ornament of the heart.

Any external decoration which occupies the mind more than the virtues of the heart, and which engrosses the time and attention more, we may be certain is wrong. The apparel should be such as not to attract attention, such as shall leave the impression that the heart is not fixed on it. (Barnes' Notes on 1 Timothy 2:9).)

"Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land."
(The man is able to handle his job and responsibilities with peace knowing and trusting that his wife is taking care of the duties at home. This man does not have to spend his time trying to straighten out problems at home. It also means his success in the social world comes partly from her support, just as her success comes partly from his support. And both are obedient to Allah.)

"She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes."
( This capable, industrious woman was very enterprising and she operated an amazing home business. Linen was a very high quality garment in that day. Her efforts and industry add to the family income. To me this is nice that she can work and contribute to the family but just on the side, like extra.)

"Strength, righteousness, and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice (laugh) in time to come".
(Not only does this woman benefit each day from her pious way, long-term rewards will come to her someday also. The word "laugh" is the same word found in Proverbs 31:25. The LORD will laugh because He knows that all the armies of the world are not able to hurt Him or defeat Him. Likewise, the godly woman can laugh at the future because she knows that the future cannot hurt her. She has prepared herself and her family for the future, to the best of her ability (as we studied in Proverbs 31:21), and because of her trust in God, she knows that she can face the future with great confidence and optimism. )

26She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. wise	Her Influence as a Teacher
27She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. (manages her home) 28Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: (praiseworthy) 29"Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all." (distinguished)	Her Effectiveness as a Mother
30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. (God-fearing - Taqwa) 31Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates. (All what she does and the efforts she makes brings good fruits that will come back to her in honor)	Her Excellence as a Person
~ Proverbs 31:10-31

All of these words for a good wife come from this poem from Solomon;

1. Virtue. Proverbs 31:10
2. Faithfulness. Proverbs 31:11,
3. Reverence. Proverbs 31:12
4. Goodness. Proverbs 31:12
5. Willing Worker. Proverbs 31:13
6. Good Manager. Proverbs 31:14,15
7. Industrious. Proverbs 31:16
8. Strength. Proverbs 31:17
9. Endurance. Proverbs 31:18
10. Well Rounded. Proverbs 31:19
11. Charitable. Proverbs 31:20
12. Provider. Proverbs 31:21
13. Well Dressed. Proverbs 31:22
14. Wife of a Good Husband. Proverbs 31:23
15. Good Business woman. Proverbs 31:24
16. Honorable. Proverbs 31:25
17. Wise. Proverbs 31:26a
18. Kind. Proverbs 31:26b
19. Good Mother. Proverbs 31:27a
20. Busy. Proverbs 31:27b
21. Praiseworthy. Proverbs 31:28
22. Attains or Excels. Proverbs 31:29
23. Fear of the Lord. Proverbs 31:30
24. Fruit bearing. Proverbs 31:31
List from: http://www.creativeladiesministry.com/pearlsdev.html