Going Against the Grain

As I study Islam and reflect on the words of the Holy Qur'an, which I believe to be the word of Allah sent through the angel Gabriel to Mohammad (pbut), I find more and more things among the Muslim population that is not in line with this holy book. When I was Christian, I found this to be so too, of course much more since they do not go by the Qur'an which is infallible. But my point is that there were so many things and rules and rituals and traditions and mindsets incorporated into it that did not seem to be in line with the gospels at all, and I see this parallel among Muslims too unfortunately.

When I first came to Islam, I remember my Christian pastor telling me there is no perfect religion. And now I am beginning to see his point, although it is not Islam in this case that is imperfect, it is some of what has been added to it and named as Muslim jurisprudence and practice. I originally thought that the Muslim would be so different from Christianity and Judaism, that it would be more pure, closer to the way of Abraham and all the prophets pbut. I saw Islam as the straight path, a path closer to Allah's way. And I still believe that and know it to be true and nothing will ever change that. And I remember being very trusting about all of the customs and ways that Muslims were teaching me at first in regards to Salat, my interpersonal relations with others as a woman, what and how I eat, just everything. Soon however, I began to return to my old ways, of questioning each thing that was said to me and looking for support for it in the holy Qur'an.

However, because of many innovations by humans added to the Muslim way after the death of the prophet Mohammad pbuh, people began to adopt many different customs and ways in Islam that were not true to how Islam was before. Islam has not changed for any of the prophets pbut. We believe in the same God and we continue the same way, in complete submission to Allah.

When I was CHristian, and we would mention Jesus' name in prayer, and some sects of Christianity even pray to Mary (pbut), I always felt bad in my spirit about that. I always wondered to myself why can't we just pray directly and intimately to Allah, like Jesus (pbuh), our example for living, did before us as well as the rest of the people in Jesus' time and before.

Now, as a Muslim, my spirit asks me the same question with regards to mentioning other names during my salat. Is this an innovation? Why can't I just mention Allah's name when I pray? Salat is such an intimate time between us and our God. So why do we mention so much the names of others during this time? This is sometimes the only time we feel we are truly alone with Allah. Not only this, but Allah Himself mentioned in the Qur'an that He already knows that Mohammad is His messenger insinuating why we feel we have to profess it so much (you will see these passages from Qur'an below). And we also know this as a statement of fact. So why do we insist on saying it so much and so often and especially during our Salat??

I am not saying it is wrong. I still have more prayer and reflecting to do about it. I am just asking these difficult questions because I refuse to not use my brain or judgment at all times, I refuse to just follow along without having understanding where these things are coming from. And I know for a fact it is good to ask the hard questions in life because if I would not have done it before, I would still be Christian today and would not have found Islam, although maybe Allah would have still found a way for me. Sub7anAllah. As you will see, Allah touches on this subject at least a couple times in the Qur'an:

"When the hypocrites come to you and say: "WE BEAR WITNESS THAT YOU ARE THE MESSENGER OF ALLAH. ALLAH indeed knows that you are His Messenger. GOD bears witness that the hypocrites are liars". (63:1)

"We have sent you as a Messenger and GOD SUFFICES AS A WITNESS..."
- Sura 4:79

So it is undeniable that Allah affirms and re-affirms that He already knows this and so do we, so why do we feel the need to bear witness to this with our mouths so much? We believe in Mohammad and all of the prophets pbut! If we didn't, would we still be muslim? I don't think so. So anyway, this is just one issue of the thousands that pop into my heart as each day passes and as I ponder my role as a Muslim and what it means to be Muslim. I hope if anything this just inspires you to pursue truth and knowledge.

What we traditionally do in Islam might be right, but I would have to implore you to study up on things because we cannot just continue to blindly do things just because it is what we were taught. We should know and understand why we do the things we do.

The Qur'an then brought Allah's word in completion to allow us to know His final word on the matter. I feel really strongly about Islam, more and more every day. Just when i cant feel more I do. I feel more and more convicted in my spirit when it comes to doing things in Islam in a way that is not in line with what I am reading from the Qur'an and it makes it hard for me to continue doing something that I know goes against what I know in the Qur'an. I am realizing that I may make a lot of people upset in my life over the way I will live Islam, but I always felt that I would not do something if it went against what is in the Qur'an which I believe to be the perfect word of Allah. I am prepared for what that will mean for my life, but what is my life if I don't defend my faith? I cannot just do things because I am scared that my society will repudiate me for it. I cannot go against what I know to be true and of God. However, I pick my battles. What I mean by that is, I will defend my faith and what is from God to the death if I must, but if the issue I am defending is something in my tradition or Muslim way that I uphold although is not based directly from Allah's words, I may negotiate that in order to maintain peace which is also something I should fight for and uphold. What use is it to fight over some issue that is not even directly tied to Allah, and make a big conflict over it only to wake up fighting between people? Then what kind of Islam is that?
However, when it comes to the qur'an and Allah, I go all the way for it. I have always felt that way about GOd

Even when I was a Christian, I could no longer continue to be Christian even though it would change my entire life because I just could not continue dishonor Jesus pbuh by misusing his purpose on earth in such a way, and it wasn't that I didn't have faith in GOd, i just knew that this was not right and you know the rest of my story about that
I just cannot stand for going against God's commands
but at the same time, may He forgive me if I am in any way
but I just want to do my best, that is all i can do.

"These are God's verses; we recite them for you truthfully. In which "Hadith", beside God and His verses, do they believe in? WOE TO EVERY SINFUL FABRICATOR. He hears God's verses, then insists arrogantly on his way, as if he never heard them; promise him painful retribution. When he learns anything from our verses, he takes it in vain; these have deserved humiliating retribution. Awaiting them is hell; neither their earnings, nor the idols they had set up beside God can help them; they have deserved terrible retribution. THIS IS THE GUIDANCE, and those who do not believe the verses of their Lord will suffer debasement, and painful retribution." (Surah 45:6-11)