"Attitude is Everything." I know that is a cliche, but at the same time, it is probably one of the truest cliches in my vocabulary and reminds me how important attitude is at every moment of our lives. It is so paramount to live in obedience to Allah, but it is not just the service to others and the code we follow that we must keep in check, it is also the attitude we carry along with all of our actions. It only takes a second to affect a person in a bad or good way, and this may very well depend not on your actions or deeds, but simply upon the attitude you have at that second. If you carry a frown walking into a house where there are guests, they may feel un-welcomed. The frown may only last a few moments, but that will be long enough to leave a bad impression on some hearts. I say attitude and not feelings because unlike feelings that are natural and fluctuate throughout the day and depending on our circumstances, attitude is something we can more easily control.
Even when we may not be feeling happy or at ease at the moment, we can still show a smile on our face or share a few friendly words and kind gestures. Often times, it is simply our attitudes that can influence someone or inspire someone to seek Islam. We need to be aware of that. We can be doing all the rights things in our minds thinking that we are being good examples of Islam to others, but if we are not carrying a positive attitude around with that at all times, we may not be doing as good of a job with our examples as Muslims.
We must remember that we are all connected with each other, we are all part of one large body. We must treat each other as we would like to treat ourselves. What kind of Muslims would we be if we just worried about how one part of our body was but neglected about the body as the whole? We must remember the big picture. Yes we must only answer to Allah, but we must also seek to uplift those around us as we are all a part of each other. It is easy to smile and be friendly all the time we see our dear friends, but we must try to extend this positivity to all people that Allah puts in our path. When we are happy it seems so much easier to extend that, but think about it; a frown or a bad tone of voice or negative body language can so easily make those around you feel uncomfortable even if you are unaware of it. So why would we want to spread negativity?
It is so easy to just show good body language, a warm tone of voice and a smile when we are doing things even if they are things we do not necessarily enjoy doing. Think about everything you do in the day. Maybe you work or go shopping or cook for guests or go to the gym. Any of these places you will run into people and interact with them in one way or another. At the same time however, there are many things that can come up to cause us to feel something negative in our day in these activities. Maybe we get tired, maybe we are sleepy, maybe we are too busy, maybe we have a deadline. In the end, if we wait until we are "in the mood" to show a positive way or attitude towards others, this might not be very often.
No one can say it better than Allah has said it:
"who (the righteous) give to charity during the good times, as well as the bad times. They are suppressors of anger, and pardoners of the people. GOD loves the charitable." (3:134)
As Muslims, we have the added responsibility to show a positive attitude even in these times. We may be tired, but we have enough wisdom as Muslims to realize it does not take much to be kind even when we feel it would be easier to just express how we are really feeling on the inside. Why not use a little bit of energy to inject others with positivity? I know how much of an effect this can have on others because I just have to think about when I am around people who consistently have a good attitude and it is so easy to point out in my mind who they are because they stand out from the rest. And the funny thing is, a positive attitude is not a difficult thing to have at all. It just takes a very little effort to extend to others this courtesy and it is beneficial for your own spiritual and physical health too.
If you are not self-aware of the effect your attitude has on people and on your influence as a Muslim, beware. You may be doing a good job of putting food on the table, giving Zakat, working hard, going to the mosque, praying every day, fasting, being chaste, BUT the power of your attitude behind all you do will determine in the end the true effect of your actions. Having a good attitude shows your concern for those around you before yourself, it shows your reverence for Allah and the strength of your character to hold a smile even when it may not be your day.
Attitude directly affects your friendships, your family, your marriage, your ability to serve Allah, among other very significant issues. So when you are contemplating your life and wondering what you may be doing that is hurting your relationships or your reputation, take a look at how you hold yourself around others at all times. One thing that had helped me in my Christian life to maintain a positive attitude in my life no matter what may be going on at the moment is this verse from the bible:
"Forget not to show love unto strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels being unaware of it."
- Hebrews 13:2
The Qur’an further elaborates on attitude through specifics. For example, often times, we just greet people, and we do not think much of it. But we can show a positive or negative attitude just by how we say hello too. We often get lazy about that, but imagine how refreshing it is when someone greets us in a warm way. In Surah 4:86, Allah said -
"When greeted with a greeting, you shall respond with a better greeting or at least an equal one. GOD reckons all things." (4:86)
And this thoughtful attitude clearly does not only apply to those we like or love. It should be extended with an attitude of hospitality and kindness even to those we could just as easily snub…
"O ye who believe! When ye go abroad in the cause of Allah, investigate carefully, and say not to any one who offers you a salutation: "Thou art not a believer!"..." (4:94)
In conclusion, way may find it hard to extend the extra effort to those who may not like us or who we may not be close to but when encountering them, reflect on this aya and guard it in your heart to remember when the situation comes along -
"Not equal is the good response and the bad response. You shall resort to the nicest possible response. Thus, the one who used to be your enemy, may become your best friend." (41:34)
I wrote this because I also need to remind myself that attitude is everything, and I think ESPECIALLY for Muslims. We can build a mosque, we can do great things for Islam, but one of the greatest things can simply come from the attitude we have towards people we might even just pass by on the street or deal with in a store, or our very own house guests and loved ones. May this inspire you and enrich your life.
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